Resilience matters

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2001
Resilience matters
14
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 12:19pm

From the NYTimes:

On Road to Recovery, Past Adversity Provides a Map

New research suggests that resilience may have at least as much to do with how often people have faced adversity in the past as it does with who they are or what they’re facing now.

BENEDICT CAREY Published: January 3, 2011

Whatever else it holds, this new year is sure to produce a healthy serving of redemption stories, against-the-odds tales of people who bounced back from the layoffs, foreclosures and other wreckage of 2010. They landed better jobs. They started successful companies. They found time to write a book, to study animal husbandry, to learn a new trade: to generate just the sort of commentary about perseverance, self-respect and character that can tempt anyone who’s still struggling to throw things at the TV.

Character is a fine thing to admire, all right — once the storm has passed and the rigging is repaired.

But when people are truly sinking, because of job loss, illness, debt or some combination of ills, they have no idea what mix of character, connections and dumb luck will be enough to pull through. To use the psychologists’ term, they don’t know how “resilient” they are, or how much resilience even matters.

Do I have the right stuff? Or is this sinkhole simply too deep?

Read the full article here.
Are you someone who is resilient? What are the things and who are the people that helped you when you were in a difficult situation? Have other people's resilience and strength been an inspiration to you and helped you hang on?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2008
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 4:13pm
I hope I can be resilient . Things did happen a lot from summer on to the end of the year for me. Hmmm...interesting to read.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2001
Sun, 01-09-2011 - 2:00am
You've always seemed to me as a resilient person, Sweetrose. You are proactive, you reach out, you look for solutions, you request for help and you take care of yourself. Difficult situations are never easy for anyone, but the resilient person finds a way to hang on and focuses on each day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2001
Sun, 01-09-2011 - 2:10am

Are you someone who is resilient?
Yes. Over the years I've had to deal with a lot of things. I wasn't born resilient; I learned to be resilient. It was either that or stay in my misery or worse.

What are the things and who are the people that helped you when you were in a difficult situation?
Going to the WWW to find out about my situation, reading about people who have gone through similar experiences, educating myself about it. Coming to the boards to talk to other who have gone through something similar as me, as well as talking to those in RL about it. Receiving support and understanding from close friends and family. Deciding to not be ashamed. Deciding that I wanted to be a survivor not a victim. Going to therapy as well as talking to doctors also helped enormously.

Have other people's resilience and strength been an inspiration to you and helped you hang on?
Oh yes, definitely. Knowing that others were able to pull through gave me hope. Reading or listening to them gave me insight and ideas on how I could cope.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2008
Sun, 01-09-2011 - 11:51am

Thanks Poppy. I try and if things do not work , I keep trying somehow.

It is not easy like you said , but if I can find other ways to do things, I can try them out.

For me it is like...I hate running period, but I can walk and jog a little...or

I hate to exercise for 1 straight hour, but I can do them 10 min at a time., etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2001
Mon, 01-10-2011 - 7:54am
Those are good strategies, Sweetrose.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2008
Mon, 01-10-2011 - 10:44am
Yes the strategies work for me ...may not for others. It depends Poppy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2001
Mon, 01-10-2011 - 11:11am

I guess I am --- because there are some things that would have broken me if I weren't. I don't always bounce back RIGHT away, but I do bounce back...

My DH is my rock... he takes EVERYTHING in stride, or at least he appears to!



CL for "

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2001
Wed, 01-12-2011 - 4:43am
I am like you, Carol. I don't bounce back right away, either. It takes what seems a long time, but I eventually do.

That's wonderful that your husband is your rock.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2002
Wed, 01-12-2011 - 8:10pm

HI Poppy,

Happy New Year - hope yours is!

Interesting article, I agree that you don't know how resilient you are until you get through something, so it's kind of pointless to think about it when you're in the middle of something -

There have been so many times this past year that I really really just didn't know if I would make it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2001
Thu, 01-13-2011 - 10:33pm

Hi Diana!

I think that you are resilient - you've been through many tough situations in the past and whilst it has never been smooth sailing, you found ways to cope, get help, move forward. IMHO, it's the fact that things don't go smoothly that teach us to be resilient and to have coping skills.

As long as we're alive we won't stop growing as a person. As long as we're alive we'll always have opportunities. Unfortunately, as long as we're alive, less than happy situations will also happen, too.

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