Is it possible to change who I am?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2007
Is it possible to change who I am?
Tue, 05-03-2011 - 4:38pm


I'm not sure how to explain what I'm feeling but let's see if I can try.

Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Tue, 05-03-2011 - 9:39pm

Hi and welcome to the board!

Avatar for juliedean
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Wed, 05-04-2011 - 8:57am
Goodness knows I'm not one to offer advice on self-confidence (still looking for a lot more of it, even at age 50!), but let me ask you this... what sorts of things do you enjoy doing and/or are you really good at? Why do you think your boyfriend loves you? Perhaps identifying what you perceive to be "right" with you instead of what you perceive to be "wrong" will help reduce your feelings of anxiety around others and nudge you in a happier direction. (And believe me, just because other people strike you as more confident or capable doesn't mean that they actually are -- they probably just hide it better.) ;)

-- juliedean
Avatar for maryaz1866
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2003
Thu, 05-05-2011 - 1:34pm
The best way to become more cofident is to realize that everyone has those feelings of not knowing how to say the right things and feels uncomfortable in some situations. Just be yourself and watch how other prople act in certain situation. I am sure you do just fine but feel like you don't. It is hard when you didn't have the chlldhood that would help you to believe more in yourself. College has nothing at all to do with it. Your post explains how you are feeling very well. Now you just have to believe in yourself. As long as you have good manners and treat people well you will be fine. Some of your problems seems to be you are shy as well. Remember even those that seem to be really sure of themselves are just hiding the fact that they are not.