How Do You Stay Positive In aging process

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
How Do You Stay Positive In aging process
Sat, 07-20-2013 - 9:42am

Hello Everyone

A little background just in case.. 59 years old and female and divorced with no SO for a few years... Living with family and wanting my own place of course.. and limited income ...

I am wondering how do you all stay positive in this aging process because there are days where I want to give up as the realities of life get in the way of my positive thinking.. I practice laws of attraction, tapping (EFT)  and meditation and do all I can to keep myself afloat but there are those days where I want to just throw in the towel...Just wondering if that means let it all go and give it to God...

I tend to over react to pain and with  no health insurance I have to go to a clinic which I do not like but there are limited choices right now. They are probably going to throw me out as a patient anyway because I never agree with what they dish out.. plus I cant afford the tests and things.. but do the best I can with it...

It just gets too overwhelming on a good day. Yes I eat right and walk and bike and get sun and do all of that but there are times when it just gets overwhelming..

How does one stay positive in this aging process and hard times..

Thank YOu

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Sat, 07-20-2013 - 11:17am


Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Sat, 07-20-2013 - 6:29pm


So sorry you are finding things a bit tough right now, me to...:(...

Hope is definitely what gets me through during this hard times...Just believing things will get better...;)...kwim?

I had a birthday recently and it is hard as we get older but I guess I am happy to just be alive...:)...

Five years ago I had a heart attack, and surviived.

My dd was in the hospital, she made it and that's ALL that really matters...

I LOST my sil recently who was my son and that's been really difficult accepting he's gone.

Today would have been his birthday, I have very many happy memories of my dd, him, and I celebrating together.

We were there when the Life Support was removed...:(...

Two months ago...

Also lost my best friend last year...and many others...

Guess I am grateful for what my ds and my dd and I have...

My heart goes out to you, I know Life is a struggle for many of us...:)...


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sat, 07-20-2013 - 7:17pm

Hi Lori;

Oh; My thoughts and prayers are with you...

I know some days are just harder than others. I know what you mean.. You say its your Sister in Law who died?

I think i am still trying to get over my best guy friend dying back in March. This year was just tough and has taken its toll on me. Not complaining or being a victim just saying alot happened. First the stress of Hurricane Sandy and my mom having a heart episode and has been in rehab for 9 months. Then my best friend dying in March and then my old home being taken away from me.. Add on a few small other things and anyone would have been in a mental ward by having to take bp meds and friends just running away when you need them..

well yes of course there are good things and lots to be grateful for .. I guess I just have weak moments..

thanks Lori


Community Leader
Registered: 07-31-1998
Fri, 07-26-2013 - 12:10am

When I tried to retire about your age I had a really miserable time of it. I was in a lot of pain and I had been declared disabled. No one would hire a nurse who couldn't pick up a patient if needed and didn't have enough strength left in her hand to give injections. (I was hurt on the job picking up a patient who fell.) So I had to deal with losing my profession and all the pain I had from the injury.  I ended up have spinal surgery in the neck and it took me over a year to get well from that. I had always wanted to go back to school and I decided that I was going to do that even if down the road I had to drop out. I finished and I loved it. Fast forward 12 years and I had to have emergency open heart surgery and have my heart valve replaced. It really took me 2 years to recover from this surgery totally. I tried to go back to work but I couldn't do it so I retired this time for good. I am loving my retirement. I am busier doing things that I really want to do. Plus I have to exercise a lot Money Mouth which of course I would rather do anything but this! Believe it or not, one of things which has helped me is iVillage. I have a warm and fuzzy place that I can come and talk to people anytime of the night and day.

Unfortunately age discrimination in the USA is illegial but it absolutely happens in your age group and I think the time between the late 50's and retirement are some of the most difficult years to get through. Do look for things to do which make you happy, make sure you eat as well as you can and get enough sleep. Make up a realistic list of things that you would like to do for the rest of your life and start doing what you can. You will feel that your life has so much more purpose.

I hope this is helpful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Fri, 07-26-2013 - 10:34pm

Hi ;

thanks MaryFrances. I needed that and you make much sense and yes it is a sort of in between age where its challenging to date or find a job..

I did join a few meet up groups and I have been going to a few here and there.. I have even met a few new friend around my age which I love..  Its like  my social life really picked up and its fun but I dont even have the energy to do it all but I am doing my best... I have even made a new guy friend who I met at hiking and at a health seminar.. Just friends but its a good thing ..We talk and he is a really nice person and meet up at events we both like...

It is also easy for me to go out alone and then I just meet up with other strangers which doesnt bother me at all anymore. That is the beauty of being older. You just dont care what anybody thinks anymore.. I went to a concert alone and the couple next to me was so nice and talked to me while I was there. so I really wasnt alone and the whole night went by so fast.

The only thing that concerns me is health.. I do eat as well as I can and try and get sleep and exercise and do the best I can .... I want to be healthy all the time so that I can take care of myself and that seems to be the challenge.. Its like please God let me stay healthy so I dont have to depend on anyone and because I dont have anyone to depend on... So my diet is pretty good as I am mostly vegetarian and no processed foods or fast food or things in cans or whatever and I drink a lot of water and take some supplements.. No health insurance concerns me a bit but I am working on that...

I do love love love to walk and been biking here and there so that is alleviating some depression and making me feel overall pretty good at times.

you know what I think bothers me the most is the fact that at these ages we have to pace ourselves (me anyway) and that drives me crazy.. Its like my brain says I am 30 but my body says no you are 59...

thank you and take Care

Avatar for champagneonice
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2001
Thu, 08-08-2013 - 11:57pm

Hi! In all honesty, I'm not dealing with becoming older at all. Sorry. I wish I could say something positive. Age is not kind. It steals our beauty, our once slim bodies, gives us aches and pains that we're not famillar with, and costs us money. As for the money end of it, it doesn't cost much for me because I always hesitate before having check-ups and once a year physicals. In otherwords, I don't see a doctor as often as I should because I'm a chicken. Cluck, cluck. Wink On the other hand, I faithfully take my all my meds (a walking pharmacy), try to eat right and get some exercise. I have spinal stenosis, which causes my legs from thigh to calves to cramp as in charlie horses if I do too much walking or walk at a hurried pace. I have a high tolerance of pain, so, for now, I deal with it. I also have a pacemaker and I can hardly believe that my heart would play such a mean trick on me. So, yeah, I struggle with getting older. My brain tells me that yes, I can do it. My body sends a different message. I'm also dealing with a mother with Alzheimers and it's becoming a difficult chore. I'm tired, I'm frustrated and just plain overwhelmed. (There's a hint of depression there, too.) More on Mom in my next post.

I use a lot of aromatherapy when I'm stressed. I have it in body wash, body spray, pillow spray and an empty pill bottle with lavendar oil on a cotton ball inside. Works for me. I also depend on my religious faith.

Hang in there - we'll work on this age thing together. Ok? Big hugs!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sat, 08-10-2013 - 11:47am

wow wow wow..

Oh; I hear you on the check ups.. I hardly ever went to the doctor and then last year I had some awful symptoms so I had to find a clinic. (no insurance) which scares the beejezus out of me.. Although I beieve my mostly vegetarian diet and lifestyle have helped me cope over the years... So I am now on high blood pressure meds but I believe its because of age and doctors never really ask us how we are or what we eat or whatever..They just tested me and threw some pills at me.. I kept going to get monitored and then I figure what is the point.. Let me change my diet again and lifestyle and do what I can... 

So I am trying to clean up my arteries with lemon and cayenne pepper and apple cidar vinegar. Is it working? well only if I think it is?? LOL..... I also eat right and walk and bike and get sun and take a few t hings here and there.... It just seems like alot of work to stay at this particular balance but it becomes natural after awhile..There are days though when the pain hits me so I do accupressure and it seems to help...

I just get scared some days with limited funds and it appears no one hires over 50 people although I am trying and no one dates over 50 women or its very rare.... and that also gets to me but I am doing the best I can to cope with the challenges.. I have family and some good friends and lots to keep me busy so . so far so good.. LOL

Yeah; How did this sneak up on us ..LOL.....................

thank you for sharing and I hope you are doing well and its nice to have some support...


take care