Insight, Ideas, suggestions?? A few things...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Insight, Ideas, suggestions?? A few things...
Fri, 04-04-2014 - 1:44pm

Hello everyone;

Not sure anyone will see this but worth a try.....................Okay if it is a repeat of what I have said before sorry about that.

Well so I am almost 60 and still living with my sister....Still having that stuck feeling although I am looking for ways to  move in which that is what I want.. I have a few options where one friend said she wouldnt mind getting a two bedroom apt. with me.. That would be okay but there are so many restrictions like real estates and where she can live because she has a full time job..........which is fine with me but how long do I wait to find something with her. I also took someones suggestion and looked into affordable housing but the waiting lists are very long and they dont even let you fill out an application.. One place actually said my income was too low for low income housing.. that was crazy.. I did get one lady say I could probably get into a place but picky me thinks its too isolated but I will check it out anyway......Most of my money for doctors and all is out of pocket and I did apply for ACA but so many loopholes and huge deductibles in which I cant afford....only choice is a clinic and all they do is throw prescription drugs at you....

I went to see a life coach but her fee is high and I really cant afford it although I like it.. Doesnt seem to do much though............but it makes me feel good and like human again.

So how does an old person  get unstuck from their life....(LOL) I have no other income, no place I call home and am single for many years and some days never feeling all that great.

So how does one get unstuck.....or am I being ungrateful...............some days I miss my old lifestyle where I lived in a nice house, with nice things and had money and had a more decent kind of life with more I am not feeling well and I am alone . What do you do if you get sick and have no one... My sister barely speaks to me and wouldnt even see if I was okay so that is out...(LOL)

Any thoughts???

Avatar for champagneonice
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2001
Fri, 04-04-2014 - 11:49pm

Gosh, I wish I had some answers for you! I often tell myself that I could always be in someone else's shoes that's worse off than I am, but I'm only human. I have to tell myself that on a regular basis. Laughing I could always have a nicer home, but I'm grateful that I have a home at all, I guess. Our house is super small and when I think we need to find a larger place (because of my mom having to live with us), I simply cannot bear to think of leaving here. We've done so much to put a personal touch inside and outside and I hate to think of starting over. My mother needs to be living with us already, but, as I said, there's just no room. She's going to be 97 soon and I factor that in, as well. We could live with her where we might not be happy - how much longer will she live? Anyway, I've gotten on my soapbox here, I guess. I really, really wish I could help you! Maybe someone else will come along that has some ideas for you. I wish you luck and love for the future.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-31-1998


You are stuck! You can curse the darkness or turn on the light. I don't mean to be harsh when I say this. When I get to feeling this way, I go out, even just for a walk! I remember that it could be even worse! Do check out that place that was offered to you. You could make it your own!

I think of someone around here who was living with her sister and the situation was awful, at least from her point of view. She managed to get into a place by herself and repair her relationship with her sister. This didn't happen over night but it is rich and warm now. So there is hope. It does take planning and perserverence. Start now with a budget so that you get what finances you have undercontrol Put aside as much as you can, even if it is only $5 a week. Soon it will be more and hopefully soon enough for a down payment on a new place. Get out to places that don't cost. Volunteer to help out with something that interests you. You don't have to do it everyday but it gets you out of the house and lets you meet new people.

I could go on. Let this be your pep talk for the day! Smile 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Fri, 04-11-2014 - 10:51am

Hi Girls

Oh; I like he pep talk but yes I do get out alot..... I do meet ups and walks and meet up with friends.. Doesnt cost all that much and yes I do free things all the time....

Oh; I went to look at that low income housing and the price was good but the area was bad but its an option in case I need it as my sister is selling the house... Yes it could be worse but I dont feel very comfortable here at the house most of the time and I do pay rent but still feeling bad about it....

MaryFrances .,,  I def. live on a budget although frugal I dont overspend and I watch every penny....nothing left over for a trip or anything but I could probably afford a day trip here and there ................

Sometimes I think should I move, rent an RV and travel around the in another country....

I guess this age thing has me thinking life is getting shorter and shorter and am I missing something??

Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003

You can choose to see the glass as half full or half empty...that is a choice.  From your post, it sounds as though you are seeing the glass as half empty.  For every possible solution, you see a negative.  You are stuck on seeing the negative...that is a choice you make each and every day.  In the same way that you can imagine a sunset in your mind, you can change your way of thinking to what you CAN do to make changes in your life to be happy.  Start a grattitude journal!  Write down three different things that you are grateful for each day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008


What you say is true and when I remember most days I write down what I am grateful for... I have always been a Debbie downer from struggling most of  my life so I have that fear that I will continue to struggle somehow.. Oh; and I practice Meditation and Laws of attraction and yet I still have good days and bad days.. I try so hard not to dwell on the past and I am very hard on myself so this is my major issue in which still at   almost 60 I need to work on......

I just want to get rid of that stuck feeling and no matter what modality I practice or what I try it is still there. I am not even sure what that means.. Thus the post......(LOL)..................................or maybe I just cant make any decisions on where to go , what to do, where to move, how to live., etc.etc..

thank you