Anxiety is out of control

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2008
Anxiety is out of control
4
Sun, 11-25-2012 - 9:10pm

Hi, so I'm having a real problem with anxiety lately and I'm not sure what to do about it. For the past week it's been even worse where I can't breathe. Last week at work I passed out. Earlier that day I'd Felt like I couldn't breathe... Tightness in my chest. Work has been so bad. My boss has been assigning me too much even when  I tell him I can't do it all. I have been trying but I have no back up at work and no one to assign work to. He doesn't seem to care. I went to the ER by ambulance after passing out and they had no answer. They tested my heart, chest, did a CT scan, all good. They said it may have been stress related. 

I'm married and my husband isn't understanding my problem either. I have a need to plan, organize, and schedule.  I am constantly budgeting and rebudgeting. I worry about be everything. He tells me not to worry but I can't help it. I keep worrying. I had gone off my cymbalta due to a lay off in January 2012 and that's when it all got so much worse for me. My doctor gave me Xanax as needed but I keep needing it. I'm not increasing the dose and only take a max of 1 mg at a time ( usually .5-.75) and sometimes don't take it at all For a few days. I went to a counselor but honestly that didn't help much. After 11 months off the antidepressant I went to my doctor and said I need to be on something. I shouldn't need Xanax every day And I'm dying of this non stop anxiety. I can't live this way. I was unemployed from jan to July and the anxiety was bad and with the job the anxiety is bad. My husband is in the military so I am now planning to move to be with him but we are fighting because of my behavior. He doesn't understand why I'm always stressed and worried and can't calm down, etc. are there any good books he could read? How do I talk to him? Shoul d we go to counseling together? I've seen a psychiatrist before and the counselor... I'm feeling lost. 

Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Mon, 11-26-2012 - 10:19pm

I'm so sorry to hear about your current bout with anxiety.  I don't persoanlly know of any books that your dh could read to help him.  I have a long list of books you could read to help you.  I was recommended a book by a therapist to read.  I did not buy the book nor did I look for it in the library.  Frankly, when I am going through an anxiety attack I can't read.  "The book is calld, Monkey Mind: a Memoir of Anxiety" by Daniel Smith.  It is written by someone with anxiety and it is his memoir of that time.  

Here is what I tell people who want to know what it is like to have anxiety.  I tell them that I feel like I need to run away but I can't run away from myself.  I want out of my own skin.  I am dog tired, exhausted and I can't sleep.  I can't sleep because I know that something terrible will happen when I try to go to sleep.  For me, I truly believe I am going to die if I go to sleep.  Sleeping pills help me sleep but do nothing to aleve the fear that I will die if I go to sleep.  I am literally terrified of just about everything. I can't leave the house because I am terrified that I will have one of those hyperventilation attacks. 

My doctor says that anxiety is being stuck in the fight or flight reflex.  That was a phrase that my dh understood. 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2008
Tue, 11-27-2012 - 12:26am
Maybe I'll look at that book. I'm just feeling like he isn't understanding that feeling that you described, which is what I feel like. I can relate to the fear of sleep... When I get worse like this it seems like he starts to think I'm being overly dramatic or trying to get attention. Him getting angry at me or worrying that he doesn't understand doesn't help my anxiety and makes me worry more so then I'm worrying about all that and it's a big horrible cycle! Anyway, thanks for your response :) I appreciate it.
Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Tue, 11-27-2012 - 7:43pm

It really is hard to understand if you have never been through it.  That's why I like these message boards so much, I can talk to others who know what I'm talking about. 

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Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Sun, 12-02-2012 - 8:56pm

~hugs~

My heart goes out to you!

<3

Nightangel