Will you help me through this?
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|Wed, 08-15-2012 - 3:28pm|
My name is Kati and I am 24 years old. I have accomplished many things, such as being the first in my family to graduate college with my bachelor's degree. I, also, moved 1500 miles away from my family in Chicago to live in Colorado; and it is such a beautiful place.
I believe the root of my anxiety is definitely my family. When I was little, there was never a dull moment in my household. With two older brother that were always in trouble, it seems like the cops lived at my house. My parents didn't get along, even though they are still married to this day. Every day there was a constant screaming match. I remember my heart racing and my breathing shallow. Holidays or special events were the worst.
After seein a shrink later in college, he put my on two medicines. His office was a revolving door where they made appointments every 15 minutes. It was a joke. Although, I am still on one of the medications, the other one is fast acting that I take when I feel i need it, I have tried to get off of it. I went from being on 20mg a day, to 40, then back down to 20, then now to 10. I hate depending on medication.
I have done some research and read a few self-help books which made me feel like I was in control again. Shortly after, my anxiety is starting to come back. Even in the comfort of my own home, I freak out. But for what? I think it's the thought of being alone. What if something happened? I never used to think like this. I used to value my time to myself.
I really just don't understand why I cannot control my own thoughts swirling around in my head. At 24 years old, I should not be worried about dying! I need a place where I can let type my thoughts out and have support from people who know what I'm dealing with.
Will you help through this?