Struggling with my husband's depression

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2008
Struggling with my husband's depression
Wed, 02-19-2014 - 10:54am

I know that this may seem so thoughtless of me but I am really struggling recently with my husband's depression. I know and understand how difficult it is for him but it is difficult for me too. I am trying to be understanding but there are times I just can't deal with it like right now since he is going through a particularly bad spell. I need to know how I can learn to cope with this.


Avatar for ubergeek
Community Leader
Registered: 09-23-2010
Fri, 02-21-2014 - 12:04pm

Hi —

The only thing I can suggest, and this is coming from his POV, is to not tell him that he's fine/he's overreacting/there's nothing to worry about/stop worrying/stop feeling that way and so on. For a person with depression/anxiety, it is what it is. No matter how we can try to turn it around, our brains just don't function that way. 

I hate when my husband tells me to stop worrying. I worry myself into a depression. I do it frequently. It consumes me, all my thoughts, everything. When he tells me to stop worrying it's like "Gee, why didn't I think of that?!" It doesn't work that way.

For your own sanity, I would just let him know you're there if he needs you, and then just let it be (watching for any signals that it may be getting worse, of course). You are not going to be able to do anything for him other than offering comfort/support.  

Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
Sat, 04-05-2014 - 6:21pm

Was wondering how you are doing? 

How is your husband?

Hope our board has helped.  Please feel free to share anytime or ask questions.

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Fri, 05-02-2014 - 11:05pm