1st apointment tomorrow

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
1st apointment tomorrow
8
Wed, 09-12-2012 - 8:42pm

I have an appointment tomorrow with a counselor and not sure what to expect worried about sounding and looking weak or like an idiot that none of what going on in my life is really that big a deal. Even though as I type this the overwhelming feeling of being so damn alone and out of control threatens to smoother me so completely  that I can’t stop crying. That the thoughts of ever being able to come up for air and feel normal are so out of reach for me right now that I can’t figure out how I got here.. . What should I expect tomorrow? What should I talk about how do I stop the feeling like an idiot, of being worthless off being so alone that being like this for just one more day is almost more than I can bare.

Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
Wed, 09-12-2012 - 9:44pm

Welcome to our board.  I am glad you shared.

I can answer your questions.  Also, you know what?  I feel the same way you do, so you are not alone. 

There are no specific questions you have to ask and there are no answers you have to give if you feel uncomfortable.  He/she will probably ask what brought you to counseling and you can share just what you wrote on this board (feeling alone, etc.).  Please don't feel like your an idiot, your not.  And you are not worthless.  Just because you are going to counseling does NOT make you any less of a person.

It is kind of like going to the doctor, except they talk to you,  instead of checking you, if that makes sense.

I hope you have a good counselor and you feel comfortable opening up and talking to him/her about what your feeling.  Please don't feel embarrased, how you feel is the truth and it is important. 

Whatever is going on in your life is important and it is a big deal!!!!  Please post again when you get home to let us know it went.  Or, if I didn't answer your questions, you can reply with more questions.

Good luck, hope it goes well, sending you a cyber hug

 

Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
Thu, 09-13-2012 - 7:44pm

I was wondering how your counseling appointment went today?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 09-14-2012 - 12:39am

so i did go. i wasn't sure i was going to..  i cried a lot didn't like that much..talked more than i thought i would. is it normal to leave  counsleing more stressed than when you started?   

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Fri, 09-14-2012 - 11:38am

Hey,

sometimes for me, it is. It kinda brings all kinds of baggage to the surface and then we need to pick through it and see what is good and what we need to throw in the trash. But it can be different for everyone.

You did go to go and I am sure it will help but it takes time. Our lives didn't get this way overnight and it takes time to unpick it all.

Love

Promise



Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
Fri, 09-14-2012 - 5:30pm

I am glad you went to the appointment.  You know, I have been to probably 6 different counselors in my life (changed counselors when we moved or counselor changed jobs).

I can count on one hand the number of times I came out of the office crying, and like you mentioned, I did not like the fact that I cried.  I am so good at holding it in, but for me, the good counselors seem to know what to ask and you cry.  I had a big break thru in counseling back in January, that was the last time I cried in counseling.  I "hated" it because he brough out something I did not want to talk about or deal with.

So, yes, very normal to cry during and after counseling.  I know it is hard, but it gets it out. 

What do you think?  When do you go back?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Fri, 09-14-2012 - 5:38pm

I'm proud of you for going and making it through, for talking, for letting out emotions. I often leave therapy upset or stressed, but I don't view that as a negative thing. I used to view it as a negative thing, but now I try to calm down, clear my head afterwards by doing something completely differnt-shopping, reading, anything to take my mind off the appointment, and then LATER when my emotions are calm, look at what was said and what I need to do with that information. If I'm always leaving calm and stayed unemotional, it usually means for me that I didn't really get any growth out of the session. Getting a shot hurts, but the hurt fades away and leaves you with something that's good for your body. Pain in therapy can lead us to a better understanding of what changes we need to make to grow.

That being said, however, this is your first time in theapy, your very first appointment. Try not to dwell on it. Try not to beat yourself up over something you said that you now fear is wrong. You did nothing wrong, you said nothing wrong, no matter what you said. And hopefully your therapist handles things well and is supportive. I'm proud of you. Feel free to post more if you have more questions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Fri, 09-14-2012 - 5:41pm

And for me, it's abnormal for me to get through a session without crying. My therapist and I both know from the beginning I need a box of kleenex near me. Sometimes afterwards I'll cry in my car a few minutes and then slowly pull myself together and go on. A few times I've needed to actually go back in and briefly speak to someone (if my therapist isn't available) as I'm too upset to pull myself together. So it's different for all of us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 09-17-2012 - 12:28am

 thank you all for your posts and words of encouragements. i go back to see him on Thursday. don't know if I’ll have to see him every week or not. didn't really discuss that with much.. found it hard to answer him when he asked question like what are you thinking. i guess i've gotten good at hiding my thoughts from myself.. He mentioned a term that i and he stressed it's still early in our relationship but that he would consider that i'm co-depenant. which now raises up a lot of other questions. i know i'm in a bad marriage but that knowledge doesn’t seem to help me find what i need to walk away.. Hoping i can find myself in these sessions and the hope i can deal with the larger things in life.