Codependency

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Codependency
9
Fri, 05-27-2011 - 7:03pm

Have any of you been to Al-Anon?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
In reply to: tobylady
Fri, 05-27-2011 - 7:28pm

Hi;

I was just passing by and read your post and I truly understand what you are saying.

I am a big time codependent as I have been married to an abusive man and we are divorced now. I tried to fix him and I couldnt do it. I try and fix people and change them but we know that cant happen.

My therapist and the books that I have read (co-dependent no more by Melodie Beatty) was a great book for me helped me realize that I am a codependent and have to work on these issues every day of my life .

I at one point moved in with my sister and she moved in her alcoholic bfriend. I almost put on my codependent hat but instead I left there and moved somewhere else which is also toxic but I have more control over my situation now than at my sis. I know I cannot tell my sis what to do or whatever. She wants the guy there and I cant do anything about it. All I can do is change me. I cnanot fix or change anyone else. This is what took me years to figure out and I am still a work in progress.

sorry to say but you do sound depressed and I have been there also. Cant make decisions and dont know what to do.

Depression can be very debilitating and drag you down and unable to do things and move forward and enjoy life.

It took me years to get to this sort of healthy mental state I am in now. My life is hard but I have managed to go on interviews; have friends; go out and mingle; try new hobbies; and

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
In reply to: tobylady
Sat, 05-28-2011 - 5:50am

I went to Alanon for several years to deal with my dad's alcholism and he was dead by the time I went to Alanon.

You get out of it, what you put into it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
In reply to: tobylady
Sat, 05-28-2011 - 11:35am

Hey,

I have no experience



Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
In reply to: tobylady
Sat, 05-28-2011 - 11:58am

Hi Tobylady,

I do not have any experience with the topic, but it sounds like others on the board will be able to give you some imput.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
In reply to: tobylady
Sat, 05-28-2011 - 9:21pm

Thank you for the advice about trying it more than once.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
In reply to: tobylady
Sat, 05-28-2011 - 9:24pm

Thank you, promise.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
In reply to: tobylady
Sat, 05-28-2011 - 9:26pm

I've decided the next time I go to therapy, I'm going to take my post with me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
In reply to: tobylady
Sun, 05-29-2011 - 11:40am

Taking your post with you sounds like a real good plan



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2009
In reply to: tobylady
Wed, 06-01-2011 - 8:52am

HAve you read Ashley Judd's newly published book titled 'Bitter and Sweet'? I promise you that it will shed much light on the issues related to growing up in environment that was dysfunctional due to alcohol or other addictions. She is VERY open about it, unusually for a celebrity. Much of the book has to do with her charity work and the book is very wordy but you can just skip through those chapters, ;)