Everything is such a mess

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2011
Everything is such a mess
Wed, 10-05-2011 - 7:04am

This is quite long so bear with me & I have to say I don't come out of
particularily well.
I had been married 9 years when we moved to a new city
due to my husbands job. I started a new job and after a few months began to be
attracted to a guy I worked with it was the first time in all the time I was
married. Then one night he started talking to me on facebook & we talked for
a few hours. My marriage was not in a good place at the time & I enjoyed the
Anyway we carried on chatting on facebook & I asked if he had
a girlfriend & he said no then changed it to sort of but she lives in chile.
We're in the uk & i know he only goes there every 2 years so I though it was
a casual thing. The messaging got more & more flirty until one night it went
way beyond & involved exchanging intimate photos. The next day I realised
that a line had been crossed & if I wanted to be with my husband I wouldn't
have done this I told my husband I wanted to split up. The other guy then went
off to chile for 3 weeks & left our place of work.
So my husband & I
were still sharing the same apartment but it was all still quite amicable. Until
one night he picked up my mobile & found the photos on my phone I thought I
had deleted them. This resulted in him attacking me with a screw driver. All the
injuries were superficial but there was quite a lot of bruising. So the police
are involved & my husband is out on bail & can't conteact me. Even
though I know its not my fault he reacted the way he did it is my fault that
those photos existed. So that was 2 1/2 weeks ago & I have moved into a new
apartment & thought things were getting better.
Until yesterday morning
when I went on facebook to see that the other guy was announcing his engagement
to the chilean girl. He did send me a message saying sorry.
I didn't love
this other guy but I think its just brought everything to a head. I can't stop
crying I was sleeping badly before but its now even worst. I can't eat &
keep throwing up. I just don't know what to do. I am suppose to start back at
work tomorrow as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2011
Thu, 10-06-2011 - 3:33am
We all make mistakes, Lola. Its a part of life. I have never been where you are right now and I can only imagine the hurt you must be feeling. Just remember you're not alone. I support you. Things will get better. Until then, you must be patient, and try to think positively. ((Hugs))
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Sat, 10-08-2011 - 2:33pm

It is so hard to be in a marriage and have your spouse not show you the attention that someone else does.