Feeling alone

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Feeling alone
6
Fri, 05-13-2011 - 12:02am
Hi all. I can't remember if I've ever posted on this board before but if I have it was years ago. I just feel like I need to get my thoughts out and I don't have anyone I can talk to.

A few years ago I went through a major battle with depression right in the middle of my sophomore year in college. If I'm honest with myself then I should admit that I was also a little depressed after the birth of my oldest daughter. I can feel myself slipping into it again and I'm scared. I feel just like I felt back in college and I've already lost my appetite. I eat just to keep from feeling weak or dizzy. This time I have 2 little girls who need me and I feel like I can't let myself get down again. I've been crying for a long time tonight but I guess that's better than the anger I have been trying to control. I feel like I don't have any help in my life. I'm married but I feel like things are split 90/10. I cook, clean, shop and do most everything for the girls. My husband never seems to understand why I get so upset and I'm so tired of trying to explain it. I work all day long and then I come home to a house that's a mess and it will stay that way until I clean it. I'm just so overwhelmed but I don't see a way out or a way to change things. I don't have anyone to talk to either. My husband always feels that he has to get mad or defend himself when I try to talk to him, my mom and my sister will only say I told you so and try to tell me how to fix it and I don't have any friends. I'm tired of feeling so alone, I'm tired of doing it all because I can't. I feel like I need to talk to someone before this gets too bad but I'm not sure my family will understand this time. I must sound so scattered right now. Even though this post is probably all over the place it's made me feel better to spit all of that out. Thank you for listening.
Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
Fri, 05-13-2011 - 10:25am

Welcome back to the board!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2009
Sat, 05-14-2011 - 8:46am

Hi - I thought of something while I was reading your post - are you by any chance a perfectionist?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Sun, 05-15-2011 - 4:48pm

I think that alot of working moms feel the way you do but then throw in depression and it gets so much worse.

Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
Fri, 05-27-2011 - 1:59pm

I noticed you didn't reply to any of the posts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Fri, 05-27-2011 - 6:23pm

Your post is not scattered or all over the place at all..

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sat, 05-28-2011 - 11:36am

Hi there,

it is great you posted here.