I'm so tired of this. Again. Some more. Possible triggers.
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|Sat, 05-04-2013 - 12:42pm|
I am. I'm tired of being sick and useless and hating myself. I know I've posted this before, but it's just coming around again. I've made a big accomplishment, I think, being suicide-attempt-free for over three months, and I haven't done anything self-destructive. I know I can go longer: I made it almost seven years at one point without even cutting. Now I feel like destroying myself completely. I won't -- I'm stronger than that, I am -- but I want to, and that's what troubles me. Why do I feel like this when from the outside, I have such a wonderful life? Three beautiful boys, a wonderful husband, a fabulously cute (and pain in the butt) dog, we're financially secure, have wonderful family support...really, people think we have the ideal life, that I have it all together, but I'm falling apart behind the scenes. I need someone to swoop in and save me. I need to care again.