Intro about me and my depression
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|Tue, 08-23-2011 - 9:57pm|
Hello to everyone!
I posted on the suicidal thoughts board and was invited to post here. I have been going through a lot of stress the past 6 years, but things keep getting worse as far as financially is concerned. In 2005 my mom past away from Emphysema (COPD) and she was my best friend. Not sure I will ever get over her passing, but it is more tolerable than it was at first. My father died when I just turned 17, my brother died when in 2003, and my FIL died in 2004. My ex, my daughter's father committed suicide on Thanksgiving 2008. So I have lost a multiple almost right after one another. So, I had deaths in my life in 2003, 2004, 2005, and 2008. Then in 2009 we lost our home because the economy took so many jobs from people and my fiance was one. Ever since 2009, everyday has been a complete struggle to pay car insuarance, eat, have gas for me to go to doctors and for anything. We have had one crisis after another for two years and with everything that has happened my whole life is wearing me down. I know I am not the only one bad things happen to, so please do not get the impression I think I am the only one. However, I am exhausted.
Anyway, things have been very stressful and I am emotionally and physically exhausted. I have chronic pain I deal with everyday also. I have RA,, fibromyalgia, spinal stenosis, disk degeneration and slipped disks. So, the financial stress makes my pain worse. Mornings are the worst. I wake up and it takes me 2-3 hours to get moving without a lot of pain and stiffness. I take my pain meds as soon as I get up. I am hoping the financial stress eases soon more than anything. I can handle the pain better if the bills are paid and I can buy food and know I have gasoline to get to the docs.
My pdoc just put me on Celexa, so I am hoping this will help with my depression and help me handle the stress better.
I am VERY tired, so I will post more at another time.
We also had an earthquake today. I was scared to death. Where I am staying, the house was swaying back and forth like a tree in a wind storm, the house was shaking,