I read your whole post, and I think you definitely need to get some help , even if it is just to talk to someone in person.
Life is way too short to continualy dwell in the past or wish things had been different. I think most of us wish we could go back and change decisions we had made ( I know I do), but its not possible, so the challenge now is to decide to stop having those thoughts, and focus on the present.
Hi Athens, thank you for replying to my tirade.
Wow, you could have been writing my story.
You really hit home with me when you talked about wishing you could change things in the past.
Is your real name Julie?
You really wrote so much that I don't know what to respond to. I guess I'll start by challenging something that both you and Athens1000 said.
I agree that getting rid of "should" from your vocabulary is important. The term "should" inplies that there was some rule that you failed to adhere to. Honestly, there are very few rules about how life ought to be lived. That's the wonderful part about liveing. Its an adveture, its unexpected, and unpredictable.
"Should" implies that things are SUPPOSED to be predictable, that there really was a way that things were SUPPOSED to go.
I can so relate to your post I feel the same way most days. i feel like my family doesnt understand my problems or that I can just get over them and I tell them each day that it's not that easy because they arent me and they dont live with my problems or are in my head. I have been having bad dreams and I'm getting threatened by the state government that they are going to take away my medical. I hate the fact that I have ocd, I have to check things constantly or write notes to myself and it looks pathetic. I miss my hometown in a way but in a way I dont because of the snow and in a way my problems were there too. I can relate and it's so hard and frustrating that people dont understand. I have been tempted to write a book on my problems SO MAYBE people would want to learn more about mentail illness and dont get me wrong I love my family i'ts just i wish they could live my life for one day.
Hello everyone, sorry I have not responded this past week as I have not felt like doing much of anything and its been too hot here to do anything anyway.
I am glad you replied.