May I Join You?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
May I Join You?
32
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 11:09am

Hi,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2012
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 11:54am

Welcome. I understand what you are saying. Although my job loss is a different situation I know all about the depression. It's my son and dog and cat that have kept me going so far. I would try to give your counselor a chance. They can't work miracles usually either and it takes some time. I've found some workbooks that are helping me a little between the therapy time. Sometimes I think we just have to let some of the depression ride out, as long as we stay safe. That's kind of what I've been doing. Hasn't been fun but I try to find some things to do...not a lot of luck but I have a couple of hobbies that I try to get myself into. Jewelry works a lot of the time. I have more scrapbooking to do but that's a lot harder to do. Whatever you can do, just try and then give yourself a break. Take care.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 1:48pm

Thanks for the response. It's sometimes good to know that at least you're not alone in your struggle. I have another appointment with the counselor on Thursday, and she is very nice, but I still don't know what she can do. I kind of feel like my life is pretty much over and I just breathe air and take up space (and that space is expanding daily). I'm used up and washed up and invisible. Did you ever get looked through like you don't even exist? That happens to me all the time and it is very disconcerting. When they made the announcement that life begins at 40, I must have been in the bathroom. When they said 50 was the next 30, I missed that memo too.

I really don't have any hobbies and nothing interests me enough to look into it. Maybe that is the depression speaking. Plus, where I live, it is the dead of winter and the dreary days aren't helping either. I used to be an avid reader, but I find my concentration isn't what it used to be and I can only read a few pages before I lose it

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 1:57pm

Hey,

I am real pleased you decided to post. No magic wands here but this is a great board for getting support and not feeling alone while we deal with the blackness of depression.



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 2:19pm

Hi and thanks for responding! It IS hard with no support. Don't get me wrong....my brother is a good man and he certainly won't let me starve :-), but he has his own life on the other side of the country and is empathetic when it's convenient for him.

The dogs are really wonderful. In their own way, they know that something is wrong. Many nights I have cried myself to sleep with them close to me in a big snuggly heap. I have 5 dogs (yes, you read that right!).....one Bluetick Coonhound, one basset Hound, 2 beagle/basset mixes and one pocket beagle

Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 4:09pm

Welcome to the board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 7:35pm

Thanks....and please don't be concerned. As long as these dogs are my responsibility. I would never do anything to myself. I would NEVER leave them with no one to take care of them....they depend on me.

It sure would be nice to have a support system of friends. I think I can count on one finger how many true friends I have. Let us just say that the rest are "fair weather friends".....when the going gets tough.....they get going. Plus if I had a quarter for every time I heard any variety of this, I'd be a rich woman. "oh, this is your time to make a change", "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade", or my all-time favorite, "This is the perfect time to reinvent yourself!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Tue, 01-24-2012 - 12:01am

Hi and welcome to the board!!

You are so right - age discrimination does exist!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Tue, 01-24-2012 - 12:15am

Hi and thanks for posting. I would love to turn a hobby into something profitable, but the problem is that I don't have any hobbies. I was training one of my dogs to be a therapy dog, but I only got so far in obedience classes and then stopped. Maybe I should pick that up again until she is ready to take the therapy dog exam

My therapist seems to be a very nice woman and we have a good rapport. But I guess I just don't believe in therapy. I only went because someone insisted that I go. My self esteem is so far in the toilet, no one could ever convince me that I'm worth anything. I see my future in my rearview mirror. All the best days of my life are past.

Yes, I do take anti-depressants and my doc just added Abilify to it. Let's see if that makes a difference. I would take a walk every day, but it's too darn cold here and sunshine isn't any where to be found.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2010
Tue, 01-24-2012 - 3:19am

I think I know how you feel. My family consists of my dad, who I never see, and my mom who I rarely see. I have no boyfriend or anything. I live with two friends who I sometimes can't stand. I have maybe four friends, only one of them being a particularly good friend. I recently lost my job too, and I know how much it can bring you down. I have some pet rats and, as stupid as it may sound, they mean the world to me. I couldn't do anything to myself because no one would look after them.

As mentioned on here, maybe you could get a job that relates to an interest. I really love dogs, so I got a job as a dog washer at Petsmart. It wasn't the greatest job, as far as money goes, and I haven't been called in in over a month, but it was fun and I got to make a little extra money doing something I liked. I had no dog grooming experience prior to getting the job and they provided all the training. Maybe that's something you could do? If you like dogs, it might be fun for you and even lift your spirits.

All in all, just wanted to say that you are not useless. I know you make a difference in someone's life, including your dogs. You'll get back on your feet and show the world that you are important.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Tue, 01-24-2012 - 10:18am

Hey,

Repeat after me:



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