Need some support and a safe place to vent
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|Fri, 09-14-2012 - 7:08pm|
Hello, I am new to the forum and thank everyone in advance for taking some time to read my post. I've struggled with an eating disorder, depression, and anxiety for much of my life. I was treated for my eating disorder several years ago and have been in therapy and on meds since. I recently married my love, moved across the country to be with him, started a new job, and am finishing my doctorate in the process. So, lots of changes! Its understanable that I am feeling depressed and am off my game, but the intensity of these feelings is really starting to overwhelm me. I am anxious about graduating, about finding a career I like (as I hate my new job with a passion). I am having a hard time with the move, as it seems like my friends are having a better time without me. As if, it is better that I am gone. I feel like there is nothing left that is good or successful or loveable about me. When I try to express my feelings of self-loathing and fear to my therapist, husband, and friends I am told to simply "grow up", "get over it", "you are wrong for feeling that way, learn to control your feelings". Well all of this makes feel worse about myself, and isolated without anyone to go to.
How do I deal with all this? I want to disappear.