Find a Conversation
|Sun, 10-30-2011 - 2:56pm|
This is the first time ive ever posted to a board. Usually I just go to google and type in things like "I want to die" and "God help me".. Sometimes just typing the words outloud is enough to get them "off the chest" and keep the feeling at bay. It's starting to work less and less. I'm on depression meds. and go to therapy at least once a week but it doesn't help. Thing is my "situation" I find myself in is a depressing situation, even my therapist acknowledged that. I sit and cry, I feel so alone, sometimes I wonder how can a heart hurt this badly but still keep beating? I feel overwhelmed, scared, lonely, tired and angry,, I can't die and yet i can't live, I feel stuck in this horrible box, Ive tried blogging, journaling everything. I'm not even sure why i'm writing this here, i'm shaking so badly. I try to pray but words won't come. I try to read my bible but I don't know what to read.. I reach out constantly but the people that say they want to know, don't really.. They all back away and only speak to me when I say i'm feeling good, they say i'm a downer and negative, but thats what i'm feeling.. Im sorry,, i don't even know what i'm doing here.. I feel like im babbing and not making any sense.. im sorry..