Vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Vent
10
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 10:29am
Feeling so scared this morning. My common law sent me a long text message saying I don't have to anything with him anymore. I ignored it. Then he said have a good 2012. I ignored it. Then he texted me three times in the middle of the night asking me if I was cheating on him. He asked me to answer his messages. I am not cheating. Im so scared that he's going to take the car and quit giving me rent money. Without this I can't live. I don't know what to do. I'm flipping out in my head!!!! Now I have to go to work and deal with my miserable boss. I hope I don't break down in tears!! Sitting in my car not wanting to deal with my life. I will never take my life just to let everyone know I'm too scared of death
Guess I'd better get my butt to work
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
In reply to: puglover71
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 1:09pm

~hug~



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
In reply to: puglover71
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 2:46pm
You think I'm doing the right thing by ignoring the texts?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
In reply to: puglover71
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 7:28pm

I wouldnt answer the texts but this guy could do whatever he wants by not paying the rent and taking your car. what would stop him from doing this??You have no legal binding and nothing in writing so no matter what you do or dont do he can do whatever he wants. I was married and now divorced a controlling man.. he threatened me with all kinds of stuff but none of it ever happened.

Do you have family around? friends?? You cant just sit around and wait for him to make a move.. Make your own move and see a lawyer even though you werent married. A social worker could help..or talk with your landlord about the rent..Are there common law laws in your State.. ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
In reply to: puglover71
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 8:10pm

I know that he could stop helping with the rent or letting me have the car.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
In reply to: puglover71
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 10:43pm

okay.. well atleast you are thinking more about how you will do this or that. that is a start.. So if you had to take transit you could.. so that could be one huge problem off your head..
You know I love plans and we always need them when other people are making our life so hard.. especially controlling people.

If worse came to worse would it be doable to get another apt. in a grungy part of town? would that be dangerous.. Maybe you could use that as leverage for commonlaw..You might have to get a studio or move in with a room mate . I mean its better than worrying about this man hanging these things over your head..and if his name is on the lease he can not sign again when the lease is up. You know that this is emotional blackmail dont you?? I would go down to the Domestic Violence Center and ask about programs and counseling and other ways to cope with someone who is emotionally abusing you.. You need support and help and they can help. I hope they have that in Canada. Just because you are not getting beaten up its still abuse. Mental abuse..and since you have no friends or anything you need some help and referrals.

Well? I was married to my ex for eight years when I had enough. I just walked out the door one day with the clothes on my back and some money in the bank and that was it.. My story is so long but that was the beginning of the end. That was in 2006 and I made it and

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
In reply to: puglover71
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 11:03pm

How long have the two of you been together?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
In reply to: puglover71
Wed, 02-01-2012 - 12:35pm

I agree with free that you should take steps to see if you can separate yourself from this man . He is abusing you.

Personally I would not answer the texts. He is blackmailing you and blackmailers once paid, just keep doing it. See if there is some way you can get in a position that you can break away from him. I know that is very easy for us all to say but if you don't, your life will continue like this. It is a toxic situation.

Love

Promise



Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
In reply to: puglover71
Thu, 02-02-2012 - 4:22pm

Hugs puglover71,

As I am sure you read, I have been really sick the past week, so feeling a little better.

Sorry to hear what he is doing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
In reply to: puglover71
Thu, 02-02-2012 - 10:35pm

Feeling abit better today. But I ended up responding to his texts day before yesterday because he got mad and got my son to call me and tell me to answer him. I felt bad for my son cause since he lives with him, he's going to get all the grief there from him. I ended up in tears cause he made me feel terrible again. At the end of the messages he said he's going to keep paying the car payment.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
In reply to: puglover71
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 12:36am

In your last post, you talk about not knowing how to budget your money and not being sure how to put a plan in place for your future.