14 year old daughter

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-1998
14 year old daughter
6
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:28pm

hi,

My 14 year old is suffering from ED. She has lost about 35lbs in the past 9 months. We were made to believe that it was some stomach problem. We did as many tests as possible and all the parameters were normal. She acknowledged about 3 months back that she is actually faking some of it.

Now, she is on counselling, anti depressent tablets and other massage therapies. It is hell seeing her going through this. Persuassion doesn't seem to work any more.

She is always thinking about food. Starts to think about breakfast the day before, hiding food etc etc.....

I am really at a loss right now. We are trying on all fronts. Please advice...

The more she talks about this to the therapit the worse it seems to get.. Is it my perception or is that how it is. Are there any other alternative treatment for this. How do I manage the weight loss... How do I make her eat? Pl Pl Pl help us. Give us some advice.

Thanks ia advance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2013
Sun, 11-03-2013 - 8:52am

Your daughter's eating is something she has ultimate control over and she may feel empowered when she starves or denies herself food. It took me a long time to realize that is what I was doing. I have been working on learning to feel empowered by setting and reaching other goals in my life but whenever I feel like I am losing control, my eating is the first thing that changes. 

Have you tried working with your daughter on organizing and goal setting for things in her life? It may help her learn to focus her time and energy on other things. 

Also, be sure to talk to her about a healthy weight. Don't use terms like starving, fat, or skinny. Try to talk more about health, nutrients and energy. It may help. 

Good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-1998
Mon, 11-04-2013 - 11:26pm

Thanks for the reply. The counseller is talking about the things that she would want to do and we are also trying to keep her focussed on other areas.

Unfortunately, she gets into depression thinking about what she ate for breakfast and right after lunch breaks down about what she had for lunch too. She cries and cries...

What are the recommended anti depressents? She is on Setralin 25mg and Respirodone (0.5) Does it really help? The doctor is asking us to increase the dosage of Setralin. I read about it and there seems to be a loss of appetitte due to this. As it is, her intake is extremely low.

Thanks in advance for all your feedback. I need information about any other alternative therapies that had helped.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Thu, 11-07-2013 - 12:33pm

Hello,

Sorry you and your daughter are going through this.

I don't know much about the meds you mentioned. Have you talked to the doctor about your concerns with her current meds? I did find that I had a hard time with meds because if they caused any weightloss, that obviously seemed counterproductive. However, I would not take anything that might increase my weight. If I gained two pounds I would quit taking them. A lot of people do have success with meds, at least with the depression.

I also found that if a therapist put too much emphasis on the ED, always making it the prime focus, the ED got worse. From the sound of your post, it sounds like you all are doing everything that you can and trying to get her to focus on other areas.Is she receptive at all to help? Has she been inpatient? I mention this because if she does not make any progress or does not want to then that may be an option.

Please keep us updated!!

maryah

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-1998
Fri, 11-08-2013 - 11:13am

Thanks for the reply. The couseller is not foucssing too much on ED. She seems to have built a rapport with her. 

So far she has been cooperative with the treatments, meds and couselling sessions. That is positive.

Her intake has gone down considearbly. Weight loss as I had mentioned is the main concern. The medicines are anti depresents. She complained of ear ache today after increasing the dosage. I am really not sure if its due to this. Mood swings, anxiety, anger are the major concerns right now. My question was does the anti depresents really help in mood swings or can it make it worse too?

We are hospitalising her very shortly. I hpe it helps!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Fri, 11-08-2013 - 3:40pm

Excellent that she is cooperating and that her therapist and her seem to have a good relationship!!

Meds can definitely help with mood swings. It can take a while to find the "right" meds sometimes though. What works for one person may not work for another.

Hang in there!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-1998
Thu, 11-21-2013 - 11:19am
I need suggestions please..... On the one hand she says that getting better means weighing a bit more, On the other hand she says that she might like to lose 5kgs more. Today someone mentioned that she seems to look better(honestly she hardly has put on anything) she had a major break down mentioning that she is fatter & that's what that person meant. How do we change this mind set? She is also quite anxious that if she gets better people are going to remark like this. How do I help her? Pl.Pl. any suggestions.....