Dreaded numbers :|

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Dreaded numbers :|
11
Wed, 07-27-2011 - 5:29pm

So I've manged no b/p, no restricting, no fasting for the past 5 days. Todaqy I weighed for the first time. I hit a sorta milestone. A dreaded number imo but on the recovery end it's progress. A good start.

I dunno...I've gained and where I'm at is technically quite a bit below where I should be. I can settle at this weight for now. I don't wanna gain anymore though. I know it shouldn't matter but it does to me. I also wish my diet would settle into something more reasonable as well but as I know through experience it will eventually.

Patience. I'm not good wih it :/

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Thu, 07-28-2011 - 2:36pm

Hey Maryah,

I know those numbers are scary but you need to keep reminding yourself that they are positive numbers, healing numbers.



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Thu, 07-28-2011 - 4:42pm

Healing numbers....good way to think of it. I like that :)

The big thing I'm really having trouble with is digestion issues. I've managed to mess of my digestive tract quite severely.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Fri, 07-29-2011 - 1:05pm

Hey Maryah,

Would taking Nexium or something help. Peppermint tea?



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Fri, 07-29-2011 - 1:36pm

Oh dear. So I'm trying to address the things that usually set me back as they come up. Today it's nothing physical. I had session this morning and my therapist went over my treatment plan with me. I didn't agree with alot of it. She keeps adding the ED stuff on there and I have said numerous times to stop making it the focal point of my treatment as that makes it

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sat, 07-30-2011 - 10:03am



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Sat, 07-30-2011 - 10:26pm

You made perfect sense to me :)

It does get frustrating when the professionals tell me what the ED is about. I don't care what letters are behind their name it doesn't make them know how this ED works for me more than myself. I think i have been dealing with it long enough to know exactly how it works for me. It is a symptom. My other problems, such as depression, etc., are not symptoms of my ED. I know this for fact!!

I get so frustrated. I'm not gonna give up though. I'm done letting others get in the way of my progress. I'll find another therapist if I have to...again.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sun, 07-31-2011 - 12:41pm

Just because they have a string of letters after their names doesn't mean they are the right therapist for you either.



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Sun, 07-31-2011 - 10:42pm

I definitely am and I'm still hanging in there in spite of everything :)

My DD decided to verbally aqssult me again last nite. My bf was here to witness it too :/

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Mon, 08-01-2011 - 12:59pm

Hey Maryah,

GTG girl. You did real good there. This is major progress and I am proud of you girl.



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Mon, 08-01-2011 - 4:10pm

My bf is a total keeper :) It's amazing to see him. He has a way of getting me grounded.

Today was weird. I guess I must have hit my stress tolerance or something triggering happened?? I totally spaced in treatment. Lost a chunk of time. One of the groups counselors told my therapist. I wound up in her office and again she wanted to grill me about whether or not I ate and blah blah ...grrrrr :> Yes I ate!!! I should start grilling her about her eating habits lol :P Here I am all confused and on the edge of having a complete breakdown and she wants to grill me about my diet!!!

Anyway, managed to squirm my way outta there :| Would ya know mybf called as soon as I got out? He seems to know right when I need him :)

Still eating. Still going. Maybe I don't need her help HA!! :P

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