Hey Maryah

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Hey Maryah
6
Tue, 10-11-2011 - 2:05pm

I know you are having a real hard time sweetie but wanted you to know I am thinking of you and hoping you are OK.

Love

Promise



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Tue, 10-11-2011 - 3:49pm

Heya,

Thank you :) I hope you're doing okay as well??

Things are ridic here. I finally heard from my bf...thankfully. I was about to lose my mind about that!! He's been really sick with bronchitis. So he hasn't really been out and about and he can't talk. I haven't heard the sound of his voice in almost 2 weeks now :(

In other news, my kid is outta control. It has escalated to the point of me filing a DV report against her. I met with the school today and told them the situation. Both the school and police have advised me to put her on PINS. So I'm in the process of that now. Bottom line, I'm done.

I went back to groups today. Met with my therapist too. I'm actually doing pretty well considering everything. I hate to say I'm doing great cuz everytime I think I might be pulling out of this hole, I fall right back in it. I'm learning to just go with the better times and ride out the bad.

ED messes with me though cuz I could feel pretty good but as soon as I eat even 1 bite more than what I think I should, the anxiety goes through the roof and I'm a mess all over again. Ya think that will eventually stop? I don't remember the last time I ate without panicking over it :/ It would also be nice if I didn't have this chronic heartburn and reflux going on. Seems like my body hates food too.

Life is what it is. Always an obstacle but I'll manage like always ;)

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sat, 10-15-2011 - 2:17pm

Hey Maryah,

sorry I didn't reply earlier. I got a virus and I am just not fighting it to goo and not eating has not helped and I got dehydrated just to add to it.

I am real excited for you that you have heard from your bf.



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Sun, 10-16-2011 - 12:08am

Soory you've been sick :( It seems everybody is right now!

My bf is still sick and has to go back to urgent care but its putting a hurtin on him cuz he has no insurance and hes missed alot of work from being sick.

Things are spiraling with my DD. She's gonna have to leave my home :( I'm hoping her dad will take her cuz I don't want her sent off to foster care or anything. I'm really wrecked about it all! :( :( :(

In the meantime, I'm doing my best figuring out what I have to do. I have to move again. The good news is I might be able to go back home and be back with my bf. There's no guarantees tho. I'm having to make a boatload of major decisions again. it's difficult! I just wish I could catch a break!

You're right though. it's easy to focus on the negative. I'm lucky to have options at least to work with. I'm lucky I'm still in treatment.

I do try and go for walks daily. I kinda have to cuz I have no car lol. I have been listening to some fun music to dance around to too. :) I have my sweet little kitty :)

Things will get better :)

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sun, 10-16-2011 - 11:49am

Hey Maryah,

you ended your post with positives and that gave me a real lift.



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Tue, 10-18-2011 - 8:44pm

It's unlikely he'll take her but ya never know. If he hears the $$$ his gf would prolly tell him to do it *rolleyes*...

Otherwise, other arrangements will have to be made. I can't have her with me like this. It's setting me back a ton. We have an appt. with probation Thursday so we'll see how that goes.

Well, at least I know one way or another it'll all get over with. I'm still following through on my plans to go back to school. I gotta concentrate on me and where I wanna be in my life. It's well overdo. I feel bad saying that I can't handle my kid but it's just too difficult dealing with an obviously very troubled teen and my own issues with little to no support. It's not healthy for either one of us.

I'm trying to stay focused on what I gotta do to keep myself safe.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Thu, 10-20-2011 - 2:50pm

Hey Maryah,

going back to school is great. You go for it girl.

You have tried your best for your dd but sometimes we have to admit that some things are beyond our scope to deal with and I guess that she needs more than you are able to provide right now. It happens and it isn't anyone's fault, just how things turn out sometimes.

Love

Promise