pregnancy & eating disorders

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
pregnancy & eating disorders
6
Sat, 07-28-2012 - 5:11pm

I got married this month, and my husband and I would like to start trying to have a baby early next year.  But...I'm very worried about whether or not my eating disorder will affect my ability to get pregnant and whether or not it could affect the baby if I do get pregnant. 

I know I'll never forgive myself if my baby is unhealthy because of my eating disorder, but at the same time, I don't know who I am without my eating disorder and I can't imagine completely stopping eating disorder related habits.  I feel like that alone makes me a terrible potential mommy and like the fact that I have an eating disorder means I don't necessarily deserve to even have the chance to be a mommy.  I know this is negative thinking and that it's wrong, but sometimes these thoughts pop into my head and just won't leave, if that makes any sense.

I want a baby so much...I don't know what to do. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sun, 07-29-2012 - 10:33am

hey,

I hear you. Maryah will be able to give you a better overview as she is pregnant right now :smileyhappy:. I am not in a position to even think about trying.

Congratulations on your marriage.

Love

Promise



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Sun, 07-29-2012 - 6:13pm

Heya :smileyhappy:

Congrats on the marriage!! :smileyhappy:

I am pregnant right now. I'm also in my 40s  and so I do have a lot of concerns about this pregnancy! In fact, sometimes I'm downright paranoid that something will be wrong with my baby and it will be all my fault :/   I've had an ED most of my life and I couldn't imagine totally being without it. However, I managed to have 3 healthy kids prior to this pregnancy. Granted, I was alot younger and my ED hadn't 't really become full blown until after my youngest was born. This time it's harder because the ED has had a chance to progress over the years.

I can only speak for myself and give you my honest opinion with my own experiences in mind. I consider myself extrememly fortunate to be able to have children after all the abuse I've put my body through! I have nevert engaged in ED behaviors during my pregnancies. The mindset has always remained though. The only way I know to get through it without acting on the ED is to remind myself that this is not about me right now. It's about my baby and I know I'd never forgive myself if something went wrong. It's a process. I use my baby as motivation not to act on the behaviors! The guilt of eating and gaining weight is nothing in comparison to what I'd feel if I harmed my child.

I wouldn't give up on the possibility of having a baby. Anything is possible :smileyhappy: However, I think it's important to take care of you first. ED related habits can be harmful to you and an unborn baby so I do think it's important to do everything you can to prevent acting on any ED behaviors! My doc offered to refer me to a dietitan. I haven't gone mainly cuz I've been up and down this road a million times. I have the tools to know what I need to do. I have to make a decision everyday to keep with it. Take care of the baby. Right now the baby is my main motivation to be healthy.

My big concern is after the baby is born. I haven't ever dealt very well in the past. However, I can't stress over that right now. I'll deal with that when the time comes.

I probably rambled here. Sorry :/ I guess I really don't want you to give up on possibilities and being able to have a baby. However, I don't wanna tell you it's okay to be actively ED while pregnant. Take care of you and plan to be as healthy and stable as you can.

You're not a terrible potential mommy! You have an ED and ED would love you to believe that and give up. Don't listen to it! You deserve to have a baby. :smileyhappy: You deserve to be happy!!

Good luck :smileyhappy:

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Tue, 07-31-2012 - 9:20am

I think that is a great idea! That's kinda what I had to do this time. I really didn't think I could have anymore kids so I almost gave up on the idea. :/ I'm glad I didn't!! I worried needlesslesly.

I admit I'm still paranoid about something going wrong. I had an amnio yesterday and I'm a little anxious waiting on the results. I'm sure everything will be fine but i still worry.

Sounds like your hubby is very supportive!! My man is too. He's always my biggest cheerleader :smileyhappy:

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Wed, 08-01-2012 - 12:24pm

Hope it goes well for you Maryah.

Love

Promise