Question about husband

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Question about husband
28
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 9:15pm

I posted quite a while back about my husband's anorexia and exercise bulimia.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Mon, 03-12-2012 - 9:01pm

I have been to an attorney.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Mon, 03-12-2012 - 9:35pm

so here we are looking at some pretty good assets so you def. will be okay ..even with your part time job.. If that were me I would be leaving in a heartbeat but then again I grew up in a big City NY and we grow up strong and untouchable and dont put up with alot of crap so I would not have a problem leaving a man like that.. That is just who I am.. rough and tumble and no bull .. (lol)

As far as that therapist that is so unprofessional unless she was doing role playing but good thing you walked out. Some therapists are just not quite right..

Well; It sounds like you love him and are willing to stay around and that is your choice.. Maybe hubby will come around one day and see what he has and you two can be happy again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 1:10pm

It is real hard to find good employment these days where we can have more choice about our lives.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 1:13pm

OMG! Her behaviour was so unprofessional I am not surprised you walked out. How dare she judge you on only on one side of things.



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 4:17am

Yes, we do have some decent assets and I could probably live get by with what I have but I wouldn't have medical insurance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 4:34am

I do think more could be done to try to make this a happy marriage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 4:53am

Looking back at her behavior, I have often wondered if she said those things just to see what husband would say or do AND so I could see what he would say or do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 9:07am

Hi;

while 50 still seems quite young to stick around I truly truly understand about the medical insurance... and it does make sense for you why you sort of have to stay married to hubby.. What I would try and do if you get a chance is check around for alternative health insurance or care and see what you can find.. what would happen if hubby died or he lost his job.. by the way what does he do?? I was told by many therapists and I truly know how challenging this is because I struggle without any help is that we cant depend on anyone but ourselves and God.. So even if I married someone again he could die or leave me or lose his job..Then I am back to square one..

I dont have any medical insurance and I am resigned to go to a clinic in which I do not like but I have no choice right now.. I think though if I had a serious illness I guess I would have had to try and find a way to stay married...to my husband.. Only thing is that I probably would have gotten sick staying with him so its a catch 22... Do you think that you are ill because of him.. They say there is a body and mind connection.. Again catch 22 but I dont blame you for the health insurance.. You are def. in a hard spot..

Not sure if what

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 11:30am

Toby I was thinking about something for you which is crazy since I cant figure out my own life (lol)

Anyway;; You have a few kids right?? Could or would you ever consider living with any of them or getting a huge place with them and sharing? Like have private quarters but still live with them and share expenses.? Take some of that equity out of your house and use that money to live somewhere else??

That way you stay married but sort of sep. and can have hubby;s insurance but still live separate and live your own life. You can still check up on him from time to time and when he seems out of it call the hospital or whomever you call for him?Or do you stay around to help him with his illness??? what about getting a nurse;s aid for him or some help if he needs it..

I was also thinking have you ever thought of just sharing a place with anyone else and just staying married for the benefits?

If none of this sounds ideal then if I were you I would stay where you are and live

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 4:03pm

Hey,

Chronic pain really drags us right down and colors our lives. So does watching someone with ED.