Struggling to eat

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Struggling to eat
6
Sat, 10-22-2011 - 10:50am

I am really struggling to eat, more than ever, since I got sick. I know DP is worried but his nagging at me just makes me feel worse because I know I have to it, I just can't.

Promise



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Sat, 10-22-2011 - 5:27pm

It's always difficult to get on track when something throws ya off, like getting sick :( Definitely nagging doesn't help! It just makes it that much harder. My bf will offer me something and try to encourage me but if he sees I'm getting worked up he lets it go. He'll just say ' it's there if ya want it.' That usually gives me some room to make the choice to try. In a couple hours I usually will give it a go.I think him putting the ball in my court...giving me a choice...gives me a sense of control that I need. The knowledge that I DO have a choice. I've been told before...you can't or you won't??

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sun, 10-23-2011 - 1:42pm

Hey Maryah,

he's cut me some slack today but I can see him biting back the comments :-(

Love

Promise



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Sun, 10-23-2011 - 7:39pm

It's odd how I get so angry if somebody tries to call me out on my eating. But nowadays,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Mon, 10-24-2011 - 1:59pm

Hey Maryah,

I guess we tell ourselves because nobody notices it, we can get away with it.



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Mon, 10-24-2011 - 5:01pm

You know my therapist and I talk alot about perception...how I perceive things. Somehow I've got it twisted when it comes to eating. To me, eating is tortuting me. If I don't eat somehow I do feel better. It's my perception that's off. Yet, it's hard to convince myself otherwise cuz recovering is hard work!! Not just mentally but physically it can be painful too! It's also difficult to feel mentally better when physically you're hurting too. So...not eating seems like a logical solution.

I can get away with it and even if anyone noticed it wouldn't stop me anyway cuz I've got it stuck in my head that this is the only way. I know that's not rational but I guess it's easier and less effort if I go with that rather than going through the actual recovery which I perceive as absolute physical and mental torture.

The truth is, there is a pay off to recovery. There really isn't any logical pay off to staying sick. All we do is remain stagnant...and that frustrates me. I want out!! No way around it.
We have to go through it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Tue, 10-25-2011 - 11:11am

Yes, you are right there. We have to go through it and it is only us that can do it. Therapists can talk until they are exhausted but it is down to us every singel time.

What a struggle :-(

Promise