Trying to live without ED

ED always has to twist everything up.

I'm still working out like 45 mins everyday. One day ED says I shouldn't cuz I will gain weight. Then the next it says I can't take a day off from working out or I'm gonna get fat. All the hard work will turn to flab overnight. I fell into that trap before. :/

At least my weight is stable. It's hard. I'm gonna try and distract myself tho. I bought a new straightener yesterday so I'm gonna play with that and maybe find something nice to wear :)

ED is brutal on the body :(

Sorry I've been slow getting here. Life is chaos lately. :/

My DD is fine but she's having to stay here to have her baby cuz the doc doesn't want her driving back to GA.

I dunno what's going on with getting back with my bf. I wanna move this summer but financially I don't see how that's gonna happen. Also, there's other factors that kinda determine whether I move in with him or get a place of my own. I dunno. My youngest DD wants to go to GA with her sister when she goes back. I'm sure she's gonna change her mind tho so that's something that' needs to be decided.

I hate uncertainty. I hate things I can't control. I hate that I gained more weight and haven't worked out in a long second. I hate that I see flab everywhere.

Okay, so the way I see it is that I can do something about the weight, the working out, the flab. The rest of it I can't do much of anything but wait. So I decided to workout today. I think thats a good thing cuz it makes me feel better. However, ED thinks it wasn't enough. Logically I think 45 mins is enough.

Balance is hard work. I can workout and get toned without being unhealthy. Yes I can control that. The rest...well...I guess I better work on patience...and wait. I have enough control to make proper decisions..even if I don't feel like it.

I still feel outta control. Am I doing something wrong? :/

Ditto :/