Trying to please others

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Trying to please others
24
Thu, 08-04-2011 - 4:40pm

You know, I think I have tried so hard to please others throughout my life that I have lost sight of me.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Thu, 08-04-2011 - 8:09pm

I feel this way sometimes too. Even when I'm trying to recover I feel like its more to please other ppl than it is for me. All it takes is someone making me angry to blow that right out the window though :/ I know it has nothing to do with size, weight. etc. That's just part of the ED obsession. ED will never accept the reality. We have to go against the ED for ourselves. I'm still working on that one.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Fri, 08-05-2011 - 5:25pm

Me too.



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Fri, 09-16-2011 - 8:31am
i just thought of something - and you'll probably say "duh", but it's new to me - can an eating disorder be related to perfectionism?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sat, 09-17-2011 - 10:36am

Hi Happypants,

for some people ED can be connected to being a perfectionest.



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Mon, 09-19-2011 - 9:14am
that's true- whether i eat or not is probably one of the only things that i have control over in my life. i lost a ton of weight about 10 years ago when i first started exercising and got really obsessed with what i put in my mouth. i thought that being a size 2 was "perfect" and that i could control it with what i ate/didn't eat. physically i felt awful and my joints hurt and my hair started falling out, but that didn't matter. what mattered was that i was super-skinny. of course, that backfired (since i'm naturally a size 10) and now i'm back to my normal weight. but i still feel the twinges of food obsession sometimes, the urge to control calories or the worry that someone else is going to criticize what i eat. i think it is all in my head, though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Tue, 09-20-2011 - 11:57am

I know my DP suffers because of this. He wants a family, very naturally, and I am wreaking my body and any chances, with my ED.



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Tue, 09-20-2011 - 9:12pm
Have you ever been 'skinny'? If so, how did you feel?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Wed, 09-21-2011 - 8:44am

Yeh, real skinny, not healthy skinny . Did I feel better? I felt I had control over my life in some way but I don't remember if I felt happy. I have forgotten what happy feels like. I get bursts when I feel pleasure for someone else's joy but not my own, not any more.

Promise



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Wed, 09-21-2011 - 11:33am
this is going to sound like a cliche, but have you ever thought about trying yoga? i tried it when i was recovering from my skinny phase and it helped me make some peace with myself. i don't think i'll ever be completely at peace but it taught me to cut myself some slack and to focus on what my body could do (rather than what it looked like).
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Wed, 09-21-2011 - 2:51pm

I do a bit of Yoga , more as a way to control pain by putting the focus elsewhere. Doesn't help much. Meditation is another thing I do. It's better for pain control but not for self esteem though I am told it has helped other people.



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