What I'm working on

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
What I'm working on
4
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 12:19am

I mad the mistake of weighing myself and I have indeed gained way more than I'm comfortable with and needless to say I'm having trouble finding the will to keep going. However, I'm trying to shift focus. Why did I wanna get better? Well, I sometimes forget why :/ It doesn't matter. I know I gotta do this or I'm dead...literally :/ I'm trying to work with the small part of me that still wants to live.

So...the word of the day. Empowerment!! What makes me feel empowered? Other than ED that is 0_o
Freedom!!! The thought of actually being free to live my life the way I want to is empowering.

I'm slowly learning how to take control over my own life. No...I may not be able to control situations or circumstances but it's okay. I heard something interesting today. If it isn't adding to me it's taking from me. This ED has taken enough from me. It hasn't fixed anything. If anything, it's way worse than before. Now I know better. If I go down I'll do it kicking and screaming. The ED is in for a fight.

Maryah is empowered and getting free everyday :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2012
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 1:57pm
Maryah,

Stepping on the scale is a constant challenge. I started working out again recently and have gained about 5-6 lbs in muscle, which threw me for a major loop. Intellectually, I know it's a good thing, but there is still a voice in my head screaming at the top of its lungs that weight gain is "the worst thing that could ever happen." I am trying to get to the point where I can throw my scale away and stop fixating so much on weight, but I'm not there yet. :-/ Maybe one day! I'm sure you can get there, too.

Keep listening to your body - eat good, wholesome foods when you're hungry, sleep when you're tired, and remember that it's ok to feel whatever it is that you're feeling at that very moment (be it tired, hungry, full, content, upset, whatever).

Best wishes!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 2:50pm

Hey Maryah,

I had to get DP to hide the scales cos I kept weighing myself and then freaking out.

WQe can beat ED.



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Sat, 01-21-2012 - 4:17pm

Sorry it's taking a while to get back.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 1:51pm

~hugs~