Do bullies have low self esteem?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2012
Do bullies have low self esteem?
Sun, 06-16-2013 - 9:06am

There is this man at work that for all purposes is intelligent, tall, decent looking, makes good money, comes from a good family and has a nice wife. But the comments he makes about people are lethal. He is always putting someone down or making jokes about them. He's sort of a bully without really threatening anyone. I am always worried about becoming the target of his next conversation. A couple of us at work have talked about him and one lady suggested that he probably has low self esteem and he makes fun of everyone else to make himself feel better. She says that it is proven that most bullies suffer from low self esteem. I'm not sure. I think he is just so full of himself and was never taught manners or empathy. Anyone deal with a person who does this? What do you think it is? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2008
Mon, 06-17-2013 - 11:01am

I've always heard that bullies have low self esteem but I don't know if that is a "proven" fact or just something we tell ourselves to make us feel better.

I've also heard that confronting a bully will get it stopped. If you become the target of the jokes, consider calling the person out in front of everyone else. It might make him think twice before he picks on someone else.


Community Leader
Registered: 01-04-2004
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 3:32pm
could be low self-esteem; could also just be the family environment in which he was raised. if he grew up with that kind of "humor", then it makes sense that he'd be that way as an adult. but, yeah, you should call him on it, and so should your coworkers.