Do you struggle with saying "NO"?

Avatar for cmkarla
Administrator
Registered: 01-03-2001
Do you struggle with saying "NO"?
7
Thu, 08-16-2012 - 9:23am

Do you have trouble saying NO when someone wants you to do something or give something that you really don't want to?

Karla
Community ModeratoriVillage.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2007
Oh boy. Y es, I have a hard time telling people no for sure. I often find myself in situations I'd rather not be in because I just hate letting people down. Most of the time I don't mind helping out, but there have been times that I've really regretted not speaking up and saying no.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006

not at all. but i probably say "no" more often than i should, lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2001
Mon, 08-20-2012 - 10:38am

I sure do --- and find I can only avoid unwelcome requests by not exposing myself to them. Not an easy thing --- but not asnwering solicitations on the telephone is my first step to freeing myself from unwelcome requests for assistance (be it $$$ or time), so I screen all calls with my asnwering machine!



CL for "

Community Leader
Registered: 12-21-2001
Mon, 08-20-2012 - 12:05pm

On the whole saying "No" was not a problem issue.

I talk about it so much because my condition has had a profound on effect just about everything in my life.   I was a multi-tasker among other things.  If the question was asked by a work colleague about a project and would be reciprocated at a later date-I tended to say yes with an escape clause.

Living with the toxic fatigue of SLE, I had to learn to say "NO" to about nearly everything.  Even if I wanted to say 'yes' fatigue can change that in a second.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2012
yes, I do. I am trying to learn how to say no, and not feel guilty about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006

you know what, though? (and this goes for both you and autiestarr (the person who replied before you).) you have no control over how other people are going to react. whether they're disappointed or guilty or upset is THEIR issue, not yours. if you really want to say no, then say no - as long as you're nice/polite about it, then that's the best you can do. but it could have something to do with fear of rejection on your part; most of us are afraid of being rejected, so we won't reject other people. since you would most likely be disappointed if someone said no to you, you want to save someone else from that same disappointment. that totally makes sense. however, disappointment is part of life, and humans are resilient. telling someone no won't be the end of the world for them, trust me :smileyhappy: