how can I help my insecure friend?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2010
how can I help my insecure friend?
3
Sun, 03-25-2012 - 5:40pm
this is gonna sound weird, but I know this guy who has a problem (I'm a woman). Let's call him Joe. We met online at a rock band fan club message board and then met in person at a concert. He always talks about his girlfriend (GF) and all the stuff they do. I had a boyfriend when I met this guy, but I recently just broke up with him, so I joined a dating website and saw Joe's profile. There was no avoiding it because I set my options so that who ever I look at, they can see if they choose from menu "who viewed me" - so he emailed me there.

Joe has low self esteem. I couldn't help but ask him personal questions about his GF - I mean we're good friends and I found him on a dating website when I know he's still dating his GF.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Mon, 03-26-2012 - 7:59am
hey, trail-girl - it sounds like your bud knows exactly what's going on and why he's acting the way he is. he is needy because he's trying to make up for something he feels he's lacking. i know a few shorter guys who do/have done the same thing - try and get as much female attention as they can so that their ego feels better, but that doesn't do anything for their inside, know what i mean? bigger ego = lower self-esteem because the outside and inside aren't in balance. if i were your friend, i would try focusing on things that he enjoys doing and is good at, and also on being a nice person and helping other people (maybe volunteering, if he has the time). what's on the inside is far more important than what's on the outside, and a short guy walking around with lots of confidence is so much more attractive than a tall dude who slouches all the time. so maybe find out what he's good at, what he likes to do, etc., and try encouraging him to do those things. good luck :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2008
Mon, 03-26-2012 - 12:57pm

I think this guy gives himself a good evaluation,

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2010
Mon, 03-26-2012 - 8:56pm

thank you for your replies!!!