How to help my husband improve his self esteem

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2013
How to help my husband improve his self esteem
Fri, 05-03-2013 - 8:55am

My husband was a severely abused child who was told all his life he was an idiot. I believe because of that he has absolutely no faith in himself. He suffers from major depression and can't make a decision about anything. How can I help him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2004
Thu, 05-09-2013 - 9:33am

Hi Cathee,

Years ago my teacher husband had a student who was chained up and barely fed.  They were trying to introduce him to what was "normal" for his age group.

In my opinion and experience a good mental health professional and a bout of couples group is necessary.  Even a not so good mental health professional is better than none.  Those images haunt them all their lives-even if its just in their dreams.  You cannot expect any less of them, than you would a person who never had those experiences.

Be careful of the depressions so they don'T suck you in.  But don't be totally dissmissive of a funk or depression but reinforce for him a past/present concept.

If you are having to deal with any of the problem Wendy mentioned. Joblessness, reposession, underemployment,

Make calls to you local mental health department, call you local college to find a mental health professional or program.

update us on your progress or if you just need to talk



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2013
Sun, 05-05-2013 - 11:14am

Have you considered professional help? Does he take medication for depression? If not, he may need it.

Is he able to get or hold a job? If not, maybe some job training or classes at a local community college will help him gain some confidence in himself.