I have no goals, nothing, feel lost :(

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
I have no goals, nothing, feel lost :(
Wed, 08-22-2012 - 12:50pm

I have been working for 5 years at a very small, family-oriented, comfortable, peaceful company, my job is very stress-free and easy (now that I know it like the back of my hand) which is how I like things BUT it is completely DEAD END. I have not received a raise in 3 yrs, I got my vacation taken away (because they "cant afford" it) and I believe I have reached my maximum pay of $12 an hour which really sucks. Like I said, it is a very small company so we cant move to different departments to get promoted or anything. I also have been trying to research for so many years as to what I would be interested in pursuing but nothing sparks anything in me! PLUS, I don't want to have school debt. I just feel so stuck and very inadequate as a 27 year old woman. I think what triggered this sadness too is about 2 days ago my BF expressed to me in a conversation how his kids mother just got promoted and will be getting paid over $40k year!! I thought to myself, wow, what I could do with that money. I felt kinda low after hearing that. I don't know what to do. I know I don't want to get paid $12 an hour for the rest of my life :smileysad: but right now, me and my BF just moved in together, I have lots of bills to pay, car debt to pay off so I can't just quit. I feel like I'm just wasting away, no goals, nothing :smileysad: I don't know what to do.

Community Leader
Registered: 12-21-2001
Wed, 08-22-2012 - 5:55pm

Dear cr001985 Namaste,

Greetings and Welcome!

At one time or another the working woman wonders about her career and future. This review is nothing to feel down about and down or brooding is not a way to start a successful relationship. You have a JOB, there are quite a few Americans who would change places with you and consider $12.00 an hour a fortune.

May I ask you some questions?  Will your boyfriend be shouldering his share of the expenses? (Does he have a job?) Is he paying childcare or alimony? Does he expect you be a babysitter when he has the children for the weekend? How many years of education do you have? (yours and his). Did he move in with you, you with him or did you get a place together? House or apartment? Does he have a car?

My DH is on the scholarship committee for his church.  They sometimes award a couple of thousand to one of the church members for higher education, often this is in addition to what they already have in place.  Check into grants on the web and have a talk with a school financial counselor about ways not to have a school debt. (Work study, scholarships, etc.).

If there continuing Ed workshops in your area (usually given through a public university or school system, if there is a fee for the class it is usually for materials, the courses are either free or for a small charge,I've never seen one more than $50.00), take a workshop on maybe knitting, golf,cooking or self-esteem (if you eat out for lunch you could spend that much in a week).

Build from your hobbies, if you don't have any hobbies start trying them all until something 'clicks'.  (My latest is jewelry making.) If you don't have girlfriends start to cultivate some, you and your BF may have friends together, you need some separate.

Keep us informed as to what is going on in your life, your feelings and emotions.

Community Leader
Registered: 12-21-2001
Fri, 08-24-2012 - 1:55am

Namaste, cr001985,

"Ugh, everything is just money. Really sucks."

I can very much relate to that!

If you believe going to your boss is not a good idea, don't do it! Right now the economy seems to be between a rock, a hard place and a flash flood-letting go of the rock might not be a very good idea.  Try not to feel a lack of progression or crappy because even if you quite and got your dream job.  The economy excuse could be used to still to force a lack of progress through the ranks. Don't worry about what the job lacks, rejoice that you are not in the unemployment lines.Use this time to become a better you.

 There are things you can do without spending money, get creative. Find some free classes or lectures about anything. Make it a point to go to the library at least twice a month. If you have to type increase your words per minute. When was the last time you reviewed your resume?  Grow plants indoors and out.  Does your apartment have a balcony for a container garden next summer? Plan and cook, romantic-candle-lit, at home meals, on your budget, at least once a month. Volunteer. Take up walking, or running or yoga.  Get you mind on something else beside a job that may be dead end and you are very, very right not to take on extra debt before you are ready. Some of the bills will be done one day and you won't have a car payment forever! ( The phone and light bill may be around for a while.:smileywink: )

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 08-26-2012 - 9:54am

To the OP.. You are very  young and I am not good at this type of advice but are there any govt. programs you can check into? I agree with Milady and see if you qualify for any financial aid to go back to school. I would think you check that with community colleges and the financial aid dept. You might be eligible for grants and work study and get paid while you go to school and also get grants to live on.

You sound so mature and a go getter and there is no doubt you will succeed soon enough.. You just have to find the right niche.

Oh; If you like book keeping that is supposedly a good field where I believe the pay is really good. Have you checked into community colleges or work study programs or places where you could take this up for free. I know where I live my library has free courses all the time.. Just have to show up and sign up..

I understand about not wanting to pay to go to school. A thousand years ago I went to school for recreation therapy and I got grants and things and I didnt pay anything out of pocket.. I tried to continue schooling but all I could get were loans and I didnt want them so I never finished. So I commend you on that..I did at one point go to school part time and work because I was younger and I had the energy.Now not so much (lol)..as I age..

Have you heard of Suzie Orman. She has a good book out on how to survive this financial crisis stuff for the younger generation. Maybe you can find it in the library.

Good Luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Tue, 08-28-2012 - 7:59am

hey. i was in a really similar spot when i was 27, and i know a few other women who were/are, too. i think it's a pretty common thing when you're approaching 30 to freak out a little about where you're going, what you're going to do next, etc. and it seems like it happens more for women than for men. but you are totally normal :smileyhappy:

i know that your job feels dead-end, but it's stable, for now, and it's better than nothing, for now. maybe you could start thinking about what kind of job you'd like to have, i.e. what kinds of tasks do you want to do all day? i'm not talking about starting a new career or going back to school or anything that seems out of reach. i'm just saying to brainstorm about what kind of work you might like, on a really basic level. are there duties in your current job that you really enjoy or really dislike? do you like working with people, or would you rather work alone? i'm guessing that your job is 9-to-5; does that fit your personality? these are some things to think about - you could write them down in a journal or feel free to talk about them here.

don't worry; you are not alone. hope you are feeling better today!