Maybe its me....?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2011
Maybe its me....?
14
Thu, 05-12-2011 - 1:06am
Idk where to start but I could use some helpful insight. I've never had a successful relationship and its starting to make me feel low about myself. All the boyfriends I've had cheated on me & ended up with the girl they cheated on me with. I feel like no matter how much I show them I care & support them it all ends the same way & I find myself comparing myself to the other girls. I mean I have a great personality...in my opinion...and I'm not a nag or cling or anything but they always seem to cheat & I leave. I'm starting to think maybe I'm just not pretty or my body shape isn't right...idk I just want some opinions or something. Maybe there's something I could be doing different?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Fri, 05-13-2011 - 10:04am
hey, shibaby, it's nice to meet you. you know what - maybe your BFs didn't think they deserved someone as cool as you (no nagging or clinging is hard to find) and so they sabotaged your relationship by cheating. i don't think it's you at all; it's just bad luck. the GFs that my husband had before me all cheated on him, and he is one of the least clingy/insecure guys i know. a lot of times people cheat because they feel inadequate or insecure, and attention from other people makes them feel better (unfortunately, it can become addictive, like a drug). it has nothing to do with their spouse/significant other. of course you're pretty, and your body is just right for you - but these guys weren't. do you get to know someone before you start a relationship with them, or do you just jump in right away? i would say to take your time and really think about what you want in a boyfriend before you start dating again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2011
Fri, 05-13-2011 - 9:11pm
Yes, I feel like I do take a while to get to know them because I can admit I have my guards up & they take sometime to come down but I guess you never really actually know someone
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 8:22am
no, you can never actually really know someone, but you can know them well enough. i was just wondering if you took your time between boyfriends.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2011
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 1:07pm
I met this recent ex a year & a half after I broke up with the last ex
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 2:41pm
were the circumstances similar when they met the other girls?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2011
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 3:13pm
Well boy #1 it was his ex girlfriend I guess he was still in love with her & boy #2 well he's plays basketball so I guess he was living up to the stereotype of the college athlete
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2011
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 3:15pm
However it seems to me that the girl that boy #2 is dealing with now...which he started dating a week after we broke up...he's over the heels for. Seems to me he's in love with her
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 8:42am
oh, it was just two guys? from your original post i thought it was like seven or something. if guy #1 was with his ex for a long time then maybe he did still have feelings for her (or it was just familiar - know what i mean?) - an old boyfriend of mine could never decide if he wanted to be with me or his ex, so i left him, and one of my husband's old girlfriends couldn't decide between him and her ex-boyfriend. it's stupid, really. you're with someone; if you don't want to be with them then you break up first. but it sounds like you are young and these guys are young so they have a lot to learn. with guy #2, it's probably just chemistry - it makes you think you're in love but you're just terribly attracted to them. do you still talk to either of the guys?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2011
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 9:25am
Yeah they were boys before but that was in high school and I really didn't care about boys then I could never take them seriously, but the two I'm referring to are the two that I was serious with and cared much about & sadly no I don't speak with either one of them
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Wed, 05-18-2011 - 9:24am
maybe it's good that you don't speak with either of them anymore because now you can move on. still, i can understand it if you are worried about how your next relationship will turn out, but just try to have fun. i'm guessing you're in college?

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