Self-esteem down the toilet

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2013
Self-esteem down the toilet
5
Tue, 06-04-2013 - 9:25am

I am fat, ugly, recently had a miscarriage, and had my hours cut at work. I feel completely worthless. My friends keep telling me to snap out of it, take a walk, get a new hairstyle,find a job where I will be appreciated, etc. I feel like I can't do anything right. How do I get out of this frame of mind?

Community Leader
Registered: 10-01-2010
Mon, 06-10-2013 - 10:22am

{{hugs}} I am so saddened about the loss of your precious baby. That alone is a very difficult thing to deal with. Losing hours at work on top, just makes the world feel like it is falling in!

I don't think it is something you can simply snap out of, you need time to grieve, to forgive yourself - I know I blamed myself, my body when I lost my babies.

Be gentle with yourself, do what makes you feel better and take the time that you need. Your baby will always be with you, leaving tiny footsteps across your heart.

Community Leader
Registered: 12-21-2001
Tue, 06-11-2013 - 11:40pm

Cry I feel comfortable saying you have our condolences and sympathy!  Catherine deserves hugs for sharing her similar experiences.  As she says-TIME.  Another suggestion; you seem to have been depressed for a time over more than one thing-besides grief.  You have also had to make decisions that conflict you, visiting a mental health professional could be in order.

Photobucket
Community Leader
Registered: 12-21-2001
Tue, 06-11-2013 - 11:40pm

Cry I feel comfortable saying you have our condolences and sympathy!  Catherine deserves hugs for sharing her similar experiences.  As she says-TIME.  Another suggestion; you seem to have been depressed for a time over more than one thing-besides grief.  You have also had to make decisions that conflict you, visiting a mental health professional could be in order.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 06-12-2013 - 9:45pm

I just hate to hear someone call themselves fat & ugly.  No wonder you have low self esteem if you think about yourself in this way.  Now it could be a fact that you are overweight--I could stand to lose some weight too.  But today just as a coincidence I saw an article that showed the top plus sized models.  Some of them were hardly plus sized (probably size 10) but a couple of those girls were definitely large--and they looked beautiful and presented themselves as beautiful and had self confidence.  I hope your DH or BF builds you up and doesn't criticize your looks.  

It's very sad that you had a miscarriage--as the OP said, it will take time to grieve that loss and I don't think that people who haven't been in that situation can really understand how you feel.  As far as the job, maybe you should look for another job but I know that until you are in a good frame of mind generally it isn't the right time to start looking because with job applications comes inevitable rejection and you also have to present a positive self confident image to get someone to hire you.  Maybe some counseling would be helptul to you.

Community Leader
Registered: 01-04-2004
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 3:37pm

what would make you feel worthwhile?