not sure if this is the place for this but...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2012
not sure if this is the place for this but...
Fri, 04-27-2012 - 1:41pm
I would like opinions. I am going crazy right now. I am currently 29 weeks pregnant with my 3 rd child. My husband and I had a very bad relationship for years, to the point where we finally decided to separate. During this time I began seeing another man for about a month. My husband and I had used the pull-out method for birth control since becoming engaged in 2005. During this time we never had an accidental pregnancy. This past October, I knew I should ovulate on October 19. I was with my husband on the early morning of October 15 and thought it was long enough before I ovulated, so I allowed him to finish inside me. On the morning of October 21 I was with guy I had been seeing for the first and only time. It was not planned and we had no protection and he pulled out about 10 seconds before finishing (nowhere near my vagina). I realize this a was very stupid and irresponsible, my mindset was not good at the time due to all the problems I had been having, but that is still no excuse. About 2 weeks later my husband and I decided to work things out and I stopped seeing the other man. 2 days later I found out I was pregnant. I had my first ultrasound at 5 weeks 6 days and the baby measured exactly to a conception date of October 19. I am high risk and have ultrasounds at every appointment and the baby has always measured exactly to the day or up to a week ahead.

Things with my husband have been great for the first time in our 6 year marriage. We have been to therapy and he is like a new man. He always doubted before that he wanted to be married and now he knows he does and is really present, whereas he never was before. He knows about the other man and that I was with him, though, and no matter how great things are he said if the baby ends up being this other man's he will divorce me b/c he cannot raise another man's child. I understand where he is coming from.

I guess what I am wondering is which is really more likely? Conceiving with my husband's sperm that was 4 days old by the time the egg would've been there or conceiving 2 days after ovulation with the pull-out method? Or even possibly ovulating later than I should have, measuring off on the ultrasound, and conceiving on the 21st or after with the pull out method? My husband also has expressed concern that the other guy may have ejaculated a little early on before he finished and didn't tell me. I know that he had just woken up and showered before I was with him, if that helps.

I just feel like I'm starting to panic and I need to prepare myself for the fallout if the baby should happen to be the other guy's. My husband has made it clear that the baby and I will not be welcome living in our home if that is the case.
I'm sorry if this is the wrong forum for this. I couldn't find one that seemed appropriate so if anyone knows of one and can point me in the right direction, I'd appreciate it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2008
Sat, 04-28-2012 - 11:39pm
Hello there, welcome. I'm Cheyenne, I'm the CL over on the July 2012 expecting club, we would love to have you over there as well. The ladies there are so amazing and supportive.

As for your situation, I am not an expert, but I did a lot of research on charting cycles and things in that area when trying to get pregnant. From what I have read and learned, sperm can live up to 5-7 days in the right environment waiting for that little egg to come down, and you only have a 24 hour window once ovulation has occurred to have that egg be fertilized. It is very possible that your husbands sperm could have lived four days in there waiting, and seems less likely to me, if you are 100% on ovulation that you would get pregnant after ovulating. However you are right and dates could always be off. To be honest it may just be to close to call. Has your husband discussed how he wants to go about finding out who's baby it is for certain? I hope things work out for you!! I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpfull =[

Here is a link to our July board of you ever need any support of any kind:
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2007
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 9:18am

I just came across this post and was wondering how things worked out for you?