please help me figure out what is going on!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2007
please help me figure out what is going on!!
Sat, 10-27-2012 - 3:42pm

ok, first off - i was putting it off all week and stressing about it, but i finally took a pregnancy test today and it said negative - so i now just have no idea what is going on and could use some help figuring it out

alright - so here is what is going on - i have never been on birth control before - i started it about 3 months ago because i really didn't want to risk getting pregnant - i am 28, married and yada yada, but we've been having a lot of issues over the last few years and i have been nothing but stressed for years now and i'm not sure how much more of it i can take, so getting pregnant, which has never been in the cards to begin with is an even worse idea now -

i started on junel 20 to start in august and i had nothing but problems - i missed one pill in the second week and then had breakthrough bleeding the rest of the month and then when my period started officially i had the worst cramps i have had since i was a teenager - the kind that make you feel sick and make it so you can't sleep - the dr didn't want to change my pill after the first month, but the second just had more issues - i was fine the first 2 weeks and then the 3rd i had more breakthrough bleeding and insane cramps, this time as much as a period - 7 days with several really heavy days at the start - i complained to the dr again and this time they changed my rx up to junel 30 - i skipped the last week of the 20 and started on the 30 though because i didn't want to risk going through yet another week of and insane period - so i may have messed up my cycle there to begin with,

this month, i have been off the pill since sunday and i haven't gotten my period yet - i haven't had cramps etc, but i have kind of felt like i do the day/hours before my period normally, but this has been all week - there is more discharge than normal, but clear and not my period - my pills start up again tomorrow so i don't really know what to do - since this is my first month on this pill, i have no idea when i should be getting my period on it or if there is anything unusual going on

before the pill i got my period every 28 days - now i have no idea when i am getting it and it is driving me nuts - i am assuming that i just continue with the next pack as normal to try to normalize things - but i have just had more problems on the pill then i ever had without it (i know, my risk of pregnancy was higher with just condoms, but to be honest w don't have sex very often, like i said - issues - so i actually was able to control it better that way anyway)

as far as any other things, like i said, i have been stressed out of my mind - i'm unemployed, i'm supposed to be working on my masters thesis in a degree i don't want anymore, i have an unpaid internship where i work for an idiot that's been driving me nuts, if i had any money, i probably would have moved out of my house and at least separated in my marriage for a little while, and my best friend has been acting weird lately and hasn't talked to me in a month after talking almost all the time for a long time - could be nothing, could be i screwed something up - just wish he'd tell me - so i know stress could be a factor here, and without the pill that (given pregnancy has been ruled out) would have been what i would assume was going on - but now that the pill has COMPLETELY screwed up my cycle, i have no idea - should i expect things to be more normal next week? do i have to go to the dr and try to get on something else again? should i wait and see? ugh this is annoying

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2009
Sun, 10-28-2012 - 12:49pm

Welcome to the board kelmel and I'm sorry to hear you're under so much stress.  First lets address the pill situation.  Yes it can take several months of not so fun side effects for your body to adjust to it, but if you're absolutely miserable then yes it is a good idea to talk to your doctor.  It sounds like you've tried more than one pill without success so it may be time to talk to your doctor about non hormonal options such as a diaphragm.  You can combine something like that with condoms to further reduce your chances of pregnancy.

As for your masters degree you don't want and the not so great internship, it sounds like you're so far along it wouldn't be worth quitting.  Does the degree give you a wide variety of career options or the possibility of using it as a stepping stone to launch into a different (but still plausible) field?  Degrees are way more flexible than you think and a graduate degree is a valuable commodity.  You might want to have a sit down with your advisor or a trusted professor to get some out of the box ideas and get some motivation to finish your thesis.  The more you procrastinate the more it costs you.  As for the idiot at the internship, you could secretly start a blog where you can vent and poke fun at your daily experiences.  Be sure to change names and identifiable details however.

And as for your marriage.  Really only you can decide if it is worth working on or if it is time to leave.  If you both want to work at it there are affordable counseling options and workshops, start with your schools counseling center for referrals.  If you want to leave then you'd need to start preparing for that by finishing your degree, landing a job, saving money, etc.  I'm a firm believer that you should never leave a situation only to enter a worse one, but instead always have a plan to keep yourself afloat.

And your best friend may have something going on that he isn't ready to talk about.  Or when you talk to him are you spending the whole time complaining about your life?  Nobody wants to hear that all the time.  Try giving him some space and just letting him know you're here if needed.

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