Humiliated by having HPV

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Humiliated by having HPV
Mon, 08-06-2012 - 2:44am

I know this disease happens to people but I have been married to my husband for nearly 25 years.  I was shocked and nearly fainted when the nurse told me over the phone.  I was so stunned that I couldn't even speak.  I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would have this.  I just feel like a deer in headlights and dirty all the way to my intermost being!  I was told it was a flat wart removed from my vagina that was taken out during a Colposcopy and Biopsy.  I know I should called back and really talk to the nurse and  find out more on this but I feel tainted and dirty.  I am utterly humiliated by this.  I had Endometriosis and had a Total Hysterectomy in 2009 and I just thought the Pap Smears was just part of my future maintenance and care.   I researched what I was told and find that this disease is a STD that never goes away ever that it's just something that can be dormant.  This makes me feel physically ill.

Avatar for cmkarla
Registered: 01-03-2001
Mon, 08-06-2012 - 11:31am

Hi, I am so sorry to hear of your recent news. It may help to call the doctor's office back and talk to the nurse. Someone may be able to offer you some advice and help you cope with this news. Try making a list of questions or concerns you may have before you call. It may help you maintain your composure. 



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2006
Mon, 08-06-2012 - 8:44pm
Hi there, You're not alone. I found out in June that I have HPV and I just got married last year and now I'm nervous about spreading it to my partner. It's a struggle for sure because it's not something most ppl want to talk about but I'm here to listen if you need to vent. The email in my profile is outdated but if you want my new email just let me know. Was it hard to tell your husband? I almost wanted to just pretend I didn't hear my results but since the pap was HSIL I had to have the colp and biopsies with ECC which all came back CIN3. My LEEP is next week. Hang in there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2012
Mon, 08-06-2012 - 10:39pm
HPV can be passed through skin to skin contact so its possible you got it that way. Don't feel bad. I was diagnosed a few months ago, too. I felt like a lepper for a while, but honestly, in most cases it will cure itself and if you get regular pap smears, there's nothing really to worry about .
Community Leader
Registered: 10-08-2002
Wed, 08-15-2012 - 1:14pm
Yes, I have had it too. I got it about 15 years ago and after having it removed, it's never come back. It's extremely common and not even condoms always protect against it. Have you talked with your doctor? I hope she has been able to answer some of your questions.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Thu, 08-30-2012 - 8:27am
40 years ago I had warts. They never said "HPV" and I don't even know if they knew much about it back then. The NP just said "Oh, you have warts." They "painted" them and they went away, never to return. I guess the painting was putting something on them to make them go away. I mentioned to my current gyne that I had warts in the past and he never even batted an eyelash. I guess I should have been tested to see if the virus is still in my body, but I have been having so many other problems that it has never been an issue. I am post menopausal and have been having issues with polyps and displaysia and now, after thinking things have been resolved, I am having vaginal bleeding again and will have to go through all this all over again. They have been trying to avoid doing a hysterectomy but it may be inevitable.

I had read somewhere that it can go away on it's own, but you're saying your research said that it never actually goes away, so now I'm wondering.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Thu, 08-30-2012 - 8:44am

After doing some additional research I see that it's the warts than can go away on their own, not the HPV virus.  Did you detect the warts yourself?  I was able to see mine.  They were the ones that look like cauliflower. 

I hope everything goes well for you.