Men and prostate problems

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-1999
Men and prostate problems
Mon, 03-05-2012 - 9:20pm

I'm a regular poster on other IV boards. I came here looking for insight and advice on a problem my husband is having. About a year ago he started complaining of having a bladder infection. He was having difficulty and pain during urination and sex, and sometimes just pain in general. He started drinking cranberry juice and my dad suggested he take saw palmetto for prostate health. He did. It seemed to get a little better, but when he stopped drinking the juice, it came back worse. It lasted a few more weeks, and finally he stopped talking to me about it (so I assumed it was gone). About 6 months ago he mentioned he had a bladder infection again, but never said anything else about it. I've been telling him to see the urologist but he won't. I don't know why he doesn't want to go. About 3 days ago he told me he has another bladder infection. He said it never went completely away from 6 mos ago, but it was manageable. I started researching today and I found out that he is having the symptoms of an enlarged prostate. I am really concerned. He doesn't seem to be concerned at all. What should I do? Should I insist he go to the doctor, even if it seems like I'm nagging or makes him angry? Or should I just assume he will go if he thinks he needs to?

He's 37 years old, we've been married 14 years and we have 5 kids. I know men typically have prostate issues in their 40's and 50's, so I don't know if he's still too young to have to worry about it. Any insight or advice?



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2009
Tue, 03-06-2012 - 11:42am

Hi, ryswife1, and welcome to the Sexual Health & Well Being board.

Based on your description, I think you are correct that your husband has Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia (BPH), or an enlarged prostate. He needs to see a urologist, and the longer he waits, the worse the problem will become and the more difficult it will be to treat.

I am not a medical professional, but I am the voice of experience in this matter. My husband had the same symptoms for years before finally going to a urologist and being diagnosed with BPH.

The reason your husband is having recurrent bladder infections is that the enlarged prostate is preventing complete voiding when he urinates. His bladder is never empty, and the residual urine makes him susceptible to bladder infections. In extreme cases, BPH can cause almost complete urinary blockage, resulting in irreversible kidney damage.

Your husband's hesitancy to go to a doctor for the problem is common. The prostate is involved in both urination and ejaculation; it is embarrassing for a man to admit he has problems in either of those areas. However, it is important that he see a doctor — preferably a urologist — as soon as possible to have the problem diagnosed and treated by a professional.

Here is a good source of information about BPH:

Best of luck to you. I hope your husband listens to reason.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that my husband was in his mid-30s when the problem started for him. His urologist said he's seeing more and more patients in their early 40s or younger, so it's not that uncommon.