December One Stop Chat Spot

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2007
December One Stop Chat Spot
45
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 11:15am

Hello Ladies! Use this tread this month to post your thoughts, struggles, questions, and quick updates for the day during December. What plans do you have for today??

No plans for me other than working tonight and maybe a little house work. I'm excited for tomorrow- my first yoga class in months!! :)

Community Leader for: 100 Pounds of More To Go!!
Gotta do it. Gonna Do It in 2012!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2010
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 1:37pm
Too much! lol. Making our final trip to Disney on Sunday so I'm prepping for that. We also have a second vehicle now that we have to get street legal. Working on that too. Plus trying to arrange getting the family christmas pics done and figuring out what everyone wants for Christmas. It's going to be a hectic couple of weeks!

Let us know how the yoga class goes!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 9:32pm
ThEre is something about December 1 that makes me feel holiday stressed. I always get everything done, and many years have more built in challenges than this year, but the calendar turns and I start making mental lists. I always buy my nephews advent calendars and give them to them on Thanksgiving weekend. This year, I gave the older one his but the younger one wasn't around so I just left it for him. I called last night to make sure he got it and my sister in law said he is so excited he needs a calendar to countdown to the calendar. They are growing up, so I am glad they still enjoy them. I bought my brother one every year until well after both the boys were born and he told me I could stop. And I heard this on the radio today - a woman bought an advent calendar that had chocolates for each day and they were kosher chocolates..I love irony... I have way more that I want to do this weekend than I can put in a logical order. I want to run tomorrow or Saturday. This is the weekend that the famous local group performs The Messiah, and that is Friday night, or Saturday or Sunday afternoon. The local Swedish society has their Christmas festival this weekend. I usually go with some of my family but no one has mentioned it this year. But I still want to go. It is being held somewhere in the direction of Barnes and Noble, and I need to buy a lot of books. But then there is an independent bookstore a few subway stops away from my house and my cousin's fiancee is doing an event there - and I would like to go to that. And I have other shopping to do, at places in different directions. And the Patriots play at 1:0 Sunday...oh, and the local Christmas tree sale is this weekend. It feels too soon to get a tree - last year I got one for a really good price the week before Christmas at the local florist but they only have a few trees this year - I think they lost money on trees last year. So if I want a tree, maybe I should get one. Or maybe if I am meant to have a tree, there will be one when I am ready. Someone I work with mentioned my mother's cookies today - she made seven kinds every year, plus decorated hundreds of gingerbread boys and girls to give away. One of the things I did on Thanksgiving was to empty a tin that had cookies from last year, and throw away the last decorated cookies that didn't get delivered last year. I did it mater of fatly, but when I told my friend about it today, I cried. I know that I am turning away from my sad feelings and I suspect there will be a big meltdown before the season is over. Sorry this s so long, I guess I had a lot to chat about tonight... Happy Friday! SJ
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2007
Fri, 12-02-2011 - 12:17am
That was brave of you. I'm the hording type that would have held onto that little cookie for like 5 years. :( I'm sorry SJ. Wish I could give ya a hug.
Community Leader for: 100 Pounds of More To Go!!
Gotta do it. Gonna Do It in 2012!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2011
Fri, 12-02-2011 - 4:37am
Wow - you guys are really busy! I was thinking about catching a train to Straussbourg on Saturday to check out the Christmas markets.. but so far, my only solid plan is to get a haircut!
On Monday I have to go to Dubai for the week, so at least I will have a little escape from the wet and cold Parisian weather!
We also need to start making Christmas lists for our family. We will come back to the states on Dec 16th and stay for 3 weeks. My sister is having a baby (due on Dec 20th). I've bought that kid so many things from around the world, that I probably need to start coming up with a packing strategy too!
That's it for me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2010
Fri, 12-02-2011 - 10:57am
Lola, box it up and ship it ahead of time so it'll meet you there! You'll probably pay less in shipping than you would an extra suitcase on the airlines these days.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Sat, 12-03-2011 - 12:02am
Well I made some decisions and went to the 'Messiah' instead of the gym...I am glad I went. I got a cheap ticket and sat in the back but Symphony Hall is acoustically perfect so you can hear well from any place...the music is so magnificent. There is one part 'he will feed his flock, like a shepherd' and it makes me think of my brother who leads soldiers and tries to take good care of them. And of course the 'hallelujah chorus'. At one time we had a music director in Boston who asked you not to stand (which is a tradition going back to the 1800's). He is gone, and now it is each person's choice..and we stood, which I love. I have a strategy for buying books - I looked at the store but I am going to order on line..we'Ll see if it works. Hope everyone has a productive weekend. SJ
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2007
Sat, 12-03-2011 - 11:21pm

Ok people. I've got to get back to the gym next Monday!! One more day for my work week tomorrow. Had a little holiday party tonight and it was so nice to be invited to something. DH wasn't feeling well so I didn't stay too long. It was nice to go anyways. :)

Community Leader for: 100 Pounds of More To Go!!
Gotta do it. Gonna Do It in 2012!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2010
Sun, 12-04-2011 - 12:18am
Okay I need to rant tonight. It's been a very long, stressful day and I need to get this out of my system.

Last night an old friend of DH's (barely acquaintance to me) called me to vent about a home situation he was going through. Him and his wife were splitting and he needed a place to live. I told him I would try to help as best as I could but I would have to speak to DH and our roommate about him staying for an extended period of time. DH approved it but the roommate didn't so I had to tell DH's friend the answer was no. I didn't like this because, not only do I hate being the bearer of bad news, something was motivating me to help this guy I knew OF but didn't really know.

Today was going to be hectic anyway without this issue having arisen. I had to get up at 7:30am (early for me since I work a 3p-11p schedule) to take DH to work and start on all the chores that had to be done to prep for our departure tomorrow. Laundry, packing, cooking (tonight's meal for work). I had to get to Walmart to buy DH a new shirt for our holiday pictures we were going to have taken tomorrow morning (which has since been postponed to next week) and then I still have to ready myself for a very busy work shift due to an event at my site.

I was jamming things out pretty fast, right there with the laundry as soon as it was ready to be flipped. So I called DH's friend and invited him to breakfast, my treat. I couldn't provide him with shelter but I could at least get him a meal. We talked a bit and I decided he needed the money I would've spent on breakfast to actually go into his gas tank. So he came over to our house so he could shower, I gave him the money and fed him. We talked for about an hour or so then he left because he needed to get his kids. I told him before he left to let me know if he didn't have a place to go tonight and he could sleep on our couch. He texted me about an hour into my work shift and said he'd take me up on that offer. Throughout my entire crazy work shift I received no other contact from him.

I got home tonight and once I'd vented about my crud of a day to DH, I called our gatehouse to leave the name of DH's friend so he could get in. I texted him to let him know it was done and he replied with, "Oh I forgot to tell you, my wife wants me to stay there tonight so I'm ok."

Wait, WHAT?!?! This is the chick who kicked you out with NOWHERE to go and you just jump when she says to? Not that I'm one to talk but do you have no self respect at ALL??? Nevermind that I went out of my way on a VERY busy day to help someone I barely know in every way I possibly could and he all but throws it back in my face? I would bet my favorite shirt that he gave her at least SOME of the money I'd given him.

This was a slap in the face, which is the exact wake up call I needed. This situation is similar to what our roommate was concerned about if we let him move in. Now that I've given the guy a chance, I can judge honestly that he would be a bad bet letting him stay here. I'm not worried about the money. If we didn't have it to spare, I wouldn't have given it to him. But I do know that he won't get anymore from me and that I won't listen when he reaches out for help again. Two words, Chicken. Little.

I won't even get into how utterly exhausted my work shift was today. I'm just glad to be home and SO thankful I don't have to dread this day anymore.

So... how is everyone else? We're off to Disney tomorrow so I'll be MIA until Wednesday morning. Have a great beginning of the week everyone!

Misty
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Sun, 12-04-2011 - 12:24am
I sHopped til I dropped today. I got some great bargains - in fact last weekend I went shopping and I bought a few things for myself. I was feeling fat, and I didn't want to deal with the dressing rooms, so I just bought Large. One pair of pants was for a much taller woman than me, rather than have them shortened, I decided ton return them. I decided that my tops are mostly Mediums, so I decided to return the Large tops. Well...a top I paid $14 for last week was $4.72 today after the discount coupon. I also did really well atOld Navy for a charitable drive we are doing at work. Ingot hats for less than 3 dollars, and a winter jacket or a toddler for $12. I like Old Navy for kids stuff and I am really pleased with my shopping results. Now I want you ladies to know that I understand that to lose your mother at 55 is not a tragedy. I have a blessed life, and I do not romanticize how difficult my mother was - especially in the last few years, but really all her life. But of course she had awesome qualities too and that is what I am missing. I always buy books for a lot of children. The past few years, when shopping was difficult for her, that was still something we did together. She would sit in the cafe while I gathered books. She would make suggestions, help me keep track of what I needed, and just enjoy the experience. I am struggling with the book buying thus year, and I was telling someone at work yesterday and that made me cry. Then today, the Christmas music everywhere got to me. I hope that you all do not mind me sharing these feelings and experiences here. I am not sharing in real life as my mother issues were complicated and I do not want input from people who knew her on how I should or shouldn't be feeling. Writing about them helps me process them. I am not depressed - my life is so much less stressful and my time is my own, and I am enjoying that very much. But I want to acknowledge my loss and I am using you ladies as a safe audience - I am so grateful for this board and the people I've met here. SJ
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Sun, 12-04-2011 - 10:55am
Misty, The way your kindness was received does not diminish in any way the generosity that underlined your intentions. Be proud of yourself for being the kind of person who will reach out to someone in need. My mother used to say that every kind action here on earth put another star in your crown in Heaven, I think your actions earned you a star. And people who are experiencing relationship issues are often very tormented about the right choice, and over share information to help them accept what they are doing. In the bigger scheme of things, maybe your actions will lead to something positive. But if not, it's what ho you responded says about you that matters. And your roommate maybe taught a good lesson about going slowly and assessing a situation before you jump in...so net net, you maybe had a good day, you just didn't know it. Have an awesome time at Disney... SJ

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