Hit a wall... Or something....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2007
Hit a wall... Or something....
7
Sat, 11-05-2011 - 6:22pm

Hey, guys.

I've been hanging out, lurking lately... I'm not completely sure where to start. I mean, I guess in some ways things are going really well... I'm now down a total of 52 pounds in just over a year, having lost 8 pounds in the past 3.5 weeks.

But physically and mentally, I've hit a wall.

I had been struggling this summer... yo-yoing around 215/220 pounds. I just couldn't get past that number. It was awful, but I kept going.

Then, four weeks ago, I fell apart physically. My knee and ankle, which had been doing well previously, started flaring up, and 20 minutes into a swim workout, I threw up... It wasn't even that hard of a workout, but my body just fell apart. After that, I was told to take a week and a half off of working out. So, I did. And in that 10 days, I lost six pounds. After that, I was allowed to start working out again, but I had to dramatically reduce the intensity and volume of my workouts.

Before, I was swimming hard-core three days a week... Now I'm only allowed moderate swimming twice a week and light swimming once a week. I was running three days a week... Now I'm not allowed any running. I was lifting for an hour three days a week. Now I'm only allowed 30 minutes 2-3 days a week.

Working out is what keeps me going. I love it. I enjoy it. It's fun for me. It's social for me. It's my stress relief, and it is what keeps me going. It organizes my life. I enjoy it so much.

I had some medical tests done, and it turns out that my adrenal glands are totally wrecked. My DHEA is way lower than it should be and I'm over-producing cortisol in the morning and then within hours, it plummets and I have almost none the rest of the day. Cortisol regulates many functions in the body--including glucose regulation and metabolism. DHEA is a precursor to many hormones and regulates immune function. Apparently, my body has been under so much stress from my surgeries and illnesses that it literally can't handle it any more. My adrenal glands give everything they've got first thing in the morning (when cortisol is supposed to be highest) and then the rest of the day, they are just completely done.

So, I'm exhausted all the time, my appetite is totally off, and now I'm not allowed to workout like I would normally, so even though I'm losing weight, I'm just feeling like I'm completely hitting a wall and falling apart.

At least, though, this does explain why I've had to work so hard to lose these 52 pounds. This condition works against me 100% in my quest to lose weight. So the fact that I've done this much despite the injuries and illnesses and the adrenal issues says a lot... But, still. It's discouraging.

I just feel a little bit down and out and just discouraged... I don't know where to find my zeal again...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Thu, 11-10-2011 - 11:12pm

Have you tried hypnotism?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 7:45pm
I think your body is telling you that you are over trained. It is time to listen and give yourself a break.

Focus on the food, and on loving yourself and resting. Meditation, massage, hot baths, bad tv...indulge yourself without food...this will pass and you just have to cut yourself some slack.

You can make it through this...

Best wishes
SJ
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2007
Mon, 11-07-2011 - 9:29pm
As if I weren't down enough... I have a slipped bicipital tendon and cannot straighten my arm all the way and am in significant pain.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2008
Mon, 11-07-2011 - 9:33am

I know how hard it can be to try to remain upbeat when it seems like everything in life is against you.

"Never run faster than your guardian angel can fly!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Sun, 11-06-2011 - 11:46pm
Amy
Can you try some low impact things like Pilates or yoga? Pilates might not seem strenuous compared to running but it is a way to challenge your body in a different way.

Best wishes
SJ
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2007
Sun, 11-06-2011 - 5:44pm

Yeah, I can walk. And I can still swim, just really slowly... I'm just... I'm done. All the injuries. All the illnesses. I've worked so hard and I feel like I just keep getting kicked down.

I'm just down right now. I feel like it's all against me.

It is all somewhat manageable through diet and rest. It just means I have to be 100% on with my diet. No wiggle room. Which is really really hard. I need a little wiggle room or I just get frustrated with myself.

I don't know if it will go away or if it will always be a problem. I guess it remains to be seen. I hope I'll eventually be done struggling against my own body every day.

I just don't know...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2008
Sun, 11-06-2011 - 3:47pm

Amy - thank goodness you are receiving medical care while going through this.

"Never run faster than your guardian angel can fly!"