I don't know what to do anymore

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2006
I don't know what to do anymore
8
Wed, 10-06-2010 - 4:30pm

First of all, I should note that I suffer from Major Depression, so if I tend to talk low...please just bare with me.

Part of therapy is making goals for yourself. One of them I picked was loosing weight. I had lost a ton of weight [well over 100 pounds] a few years ago, and then it all came back when I went flying into a deep depression. I don't know how I lost the weight the first time to be honest...all I did was go from 1 meal to 3 and 2 snacks a day. People didn't believe me I lost by eating more...so I don't bother telling anyone that's the reason anymore, even though my doctor confirmed it's very possible. Anyway, after I went into my downhill slide, I started eating one to two meals again, but I also just did nothing. I was taken off work for the depression and I just hid in my house for a couple years.

Now I have a very supportive therapist, who has without knowing, encouraged me to make this goal for myself. So many months ago, I started walking. My doctor told me awhile back, to not just stroll...to really get my heart going. So, I did. And I started out only doing a couple blocks at first, but by the end of the month I was walking over 10 blocks. After that, I kept the same distance, but added hills here and there. By the end, I was drenched and really felt I had to be making some progress. Wrong...I didn't even loose.


To top it off, I went on a diet with my mom. I was only on it for 2-3 weeks, then gave up when I saw I wasn't loosing. I think I lost a pound at most and that was pushing it. I did this all with the walking. So ok, it's not working. Time to try something else.

So, I order a bunch of workout videos from people who had success from the biggest losers. I got this one that starts you out slow, and then works you up to higher levels. For a week, I've been doing the 5 minute warmup and the 20 minute step one cardio workout. I'm breathing heavy and panting by the end. Along with this, I've been eating about the same diet I was on when I lost the weight before. It consists of:

Morning: Fiber cereal [skim milk]. Activitia yogart and a fruit [sometimes I save it for snack instead]

Lunch: Roast and chicken [thin] slices, chedder cheese slice on wheat bread. nothing else.

Snack: Fruit

Supper: Usually one meat and one veggie

Granted I haven't added up the calories on this diet, but it's really about the same as before when I lost. Except I actually had two snacks before with string cheese on top of it.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm so tired of fighting when I'm doing the right things. I have polycystic ovary syndrom as well...so I know that doesn't help...but come on, what the hell do I have to do? I can't afford a fancy high maintence diet, I only get 5-600 bucks a month to survive on. I need something simple and non complicated or it will overwhelm me more than I all ready am.

Please tell me what I'm doing wrong. I am so drained, I can't do this anymore. I might as well be sitting on my butt because it's becoming the same thing as trying.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2008
Sun, 10-10-2010 - 4:28pm

I have nothing medical to add but want to send some supportive vibes your way. I too have depression issues and know how tough it can be on us when things aren't going well- we don't have the same coping skills others have sometimes. Hang in there and try- hard as it can be- to stay positive. Posting here is a very good coping stategy

hugs

lissa

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2008
Sat, 10-09-2010 - 3:23pm

I'm glad to hear that you've made an apppointment with your doctor.

"Never run faster than your guardian angel can fly!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Thu, 10-07-2010 - 11:18am

Hi,

I'm new here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2006
Thu, 10-07-2010 - 12:37am
Thanks John for the info, but I can not doing anything that costs extra money...I just can't afford it being on such a low income.

Ty nonetheless and good to hear of your success.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2006
Thu, 10-07-2010 - 12:32am

Thank you both for the reply. Well, right now it feels like nothing is working and I should of been loosing at least something on my moms diet...we cut the carbs, ate all lean protiens and were on 1500 cals on that one. I admit I don't know the cals on this one, but doesn't change I wasn't loosing on a 1500 while excersizing. And yes, granted I wasn't jogging 5 miles a day, but being so overweight...there should of been something, even if just a little bit.

I have cut out soda 100%...did that a couple months ago. I didn't look at the biggest losers title and think, "Hey they were on tv, I'll have same results with 20 min little workout!" Actually, I have never watched one show and didn't even know these vids were from people in them till they got here. I just saw them on amazon and took a stab. lol I have been considering doing the workout twice a day with a long walk, but it really kicks my tush doing just the one. Walking will be impossible once winter comes, thus another reason I was trying the workout vid.

Thank you for the site [caloriessperhour]...I will go check it out and hopefully I'll find something I'm screwing up on. Does this site happen to have a calorie calculator? Seems the only ones I can find cost money and that's just not a option. I do worry my food intake is too much or too little currently...but I just don't have the focus to sit down, read the boxes and figure out what I'm eating calorie wise. It all just confuses me. I used a trial program for the one I was on with mom, is only reason I know I was on 1500 [give or take a tad].

Yes I realize antidepressants can cause weight gain and hinder loss. I haven't been on any meds for a good 2-3 years [thus why I'm so charming ;)]. I had a severe reaction to the last one I was on, and have refused to go that route anymore [keep in mind, I've been on every med under the sun]. SO..least I can rule out that one.

I know all about carbs because I have PCOS and our world unfortunally is ruled by them. So I do try very hard to stay away from the bad carbs as we call them. I eat wheat everything if at all possible and try to balance out my protiens the best I can. I do try to eat the leaner proteins as well, my meats are usually turkey, chicken, fish and very little beef [sorry its my fave and I just have to have it at least once every wk or two]. Not big on pork. I do eat one slice of mild chedder everyday on my lunch sandwich...is this too much for the cheeses? Otherwise, I put cheese on nothing. It's kind of what gave the sandwich flavor, but I'll cut it if it's considered too much. lol

Again, ty both for your time and I'm sorry I'm so flustered. This has been really upsetting me to tears...no matter how hard I try...I fail. I have seen many loose weight by zero excersize and just starting a healtier diet...my two brothers are prime examples of this. They have both lost over 100 pounds and have not done ONE excersize. I have seen women who have done this too. I just feel, I should be loosing something...even if just a pound or two. I did make a oppt with my doctor today as well...it's not till Nov, but figure that'll give me some time to look closer at what I'm doing.

Thanks!! Apryl

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Wed, 10-06-2010 - 11:32pm

Hi,

I don't know that I can say what you're doing wrong, but I can share what has worked for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2008
Wed, 10-06-2010 - 9:48pm

Hi and welcome to our board!

I hear a lot of frustration, and no wonder!

"Never run faster than your guardian angel can fly!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Wed, 10-06-2010 - 9:11pm

There is no 'wrong' way to do this - there is just what works for you and what doesn't.

That being said, I think it is important to eat at least 1400 and preferably 1600 calories a day.