Find a Conversation
|Sat, 12-11-2010 - 12:45am|
Hi everyone..I'm looking for some support and advice. I would really, REALLY appreciate it!
Firstly, I want to tell you a little bit about my story. I'll try to be quick. If you don't care to know this part just scroll down and get to my questions/concerns. I'll understand :)
So, when I was young my mom was diagnosed with a chronic illness, and almost died several times. During this time, my family was very unhealthy because of basically living in the hospital and having very few, if any, meals at home. It was around this age that I started gaining weight. During puberty, I was slightly overweight, but not so bad. I was still healthy. And then in high school, I wasn't skinny, but not obese. I played sports, I didn't eat much (though what I did eat wasn't necessarily healthy, if I could go back in time and do it differently I would). Then my aunt, who was like my best friend, passed unexpectedly at a young age. This is when things got really tough for me, shortly after my parents got divorced and remarried new people in a very short period of time. This is when the pounds really started packing on. I cared significantly less about my health because of all the stress. I went on atkins diet with a friend and dropped 20lbs in two weeks, but then when the two weeks was over I resumed unhealthy diet and lack of exercise (I'd go back and change this one, too). Then more and more terrible things continued to happen and the weight just kept coming and coming. Then I started smoking, too. I know smoking helps some people with weight loss, not me. I do think I have maintained my weight and not gained anymore since I started but, that's neither here nor there. I have a really amazing and supportive boyfriend, he doesn't see a flaw in me. I think that part of this is because I hold my weight pretty well..I don't look as overweight as I actually am because of height and proportion. He has helped my confidence soar. But in the past weeks, I've been sort of depressed and going through a rough patch and more and more I've been thinking about how much I want to be healthy and start exercising regularly. I have a plan, and more than a plan, this is something I am MAKING myself do; not because I'm insecure about my weight but because I want to feel good. I have terrible backaches, migraines, awful sleeping patters..and I think it's because I am unhealthy. So my plan was to eliminate fast food and get a gym membership (also, my boyfriend works nights so I wanted a gym membership anyway to give myself something productive to do when I'm lonely). But, then tonight something happened. I saw on facebook an ex of mine referred to me as "shamu". I don't think that he intended for me to see it, even though he is just that rude type of guy. But that was just like a final straw for me. It gave me boat loads of motivation (and I already thought I had a lot of that!) The past couple weeks I've just been thinking about how good it would feel to show everyone who has ever wronged me (ie; name-calling, ex-boyfriend), and even better to be a better me for the people I love (ie; current boyfriend) and most importantly..to feel good, no GREAT, about myself. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I'm not just talking about the weight here, I'm talking about everything.
So this brings me to what I'm looking for opinions on. I want to do the master cleanse diet (aka; lemon diet). I know what everyone will say, remember I did try atkins once: once the diet ends you will just gain the weight back, if not more. But, here's what makes it different for me, personally. I have already planned on getting a membership at curves, changing my diet and improving my overall lifestyle. So, I, unlike most people, won't do this "diet" for a week or so, then just resume my old ways. I learned my lesson from that. I've been reading a lot on the cleanse, and it seems like, even though it will suck REALLY bad, that it really does cleanse your body, which is a good first step in weight loss and an overall healthy body. Notice I did say FIRST step. I'm not going to just do this "diet" and then leave it at that. I want to use the cleanse as a transitory period from my old ways into my new ways, I think it sounds like a great idea.