What to do when your buddy wants to cheat

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2013
What to do when your buddy wants to cheat
Thu, 01-17-2013 - 8:39am

I am so glad to find this topic. I have an "exercise buddy" that I have made a plan with to meet up and work out 3 days a week. We were matched up by a Biggest Loser Weight Loss challenge from a local gym.  At first it worked out great and we were both doing really well. Then we started going down hill. She motivates me more to eat and shop than anything else. We are now meeting at local restaurants instead of the gym. When we are supposed to be walking, she'll call saying she is sick, she had a stressful day at work, she is in a fight with her husband-you get the picture and ask me to meet her somewhere else just to talk. I really like this woman but I am now right back where I started at. I want to help us both get back on track. What should I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2001
Thu, 01-17-2013 - 2:07pm

Hi and welcome!  

Wow, that's a tough one.  Are you comfortable talking about this with your exercise buddy?  Maybe if you planned a day every week or two to go shopping and out for a healthy lunch (maybe even including a treat if that's on your program), then you would get to enjoy that kind of time without you feeling upset because you're missing a workout.  Then, when you talk to her about the importance of not missing your workouts, she'll know that it's not a rejection of spending time with her, but just you sticking to your commitment to work out.

Maybe she doesn't realize what a difference her support and participation would make in your attempts to get healthy?  Would it help to explain it to her and then make sure to positively reinforce it when she does participate? 

You may have already thought of all this, but these are the ideas came to me when I read your post.  I really admire you for committing to an exercise program and working so hard to stick to it.  I really hope you can find a way to work this out.  An exercise buddy can be such a great help and support.

:) - Karen



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2008
Wed, 01-23-2013 - 9:32am

I saw your post and had to comment that this could have been about me. I'm one of those dieting buddies no one wants to get stuck with. I honestly would rather have lunch and gossip than spend an hour at the gym doing something I don't really want to do.

I have new buddies this year and I've told them that when I make an excuse and ask them to meet me at the Olive Garden instead of the gym, please don't say yes. We have all agreed to tell each other that we understand that the kids are sick or we had to work late but we have a meeting planned at such and such a time at the gym. So personally, since you seem to be the stronger partner, my advice to you is to stop agreeing to meet her and when she calls to excuse herself be firm and let her know that she is making an excuse and that you are going to the gym and hope to see her there anyways.

I just hope that I can follow my own advice now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2001
Wed, 01-23-2013 - 3:52pm
Wow, what a great perspective to get. It's interesting to hear about this situation from both sides. I'm so glad you posted! Best of luck with your exercise plans. You sound very determined. That was quite a step you took when you told your buddies to say no. I really admire your commitment! :) - Karen



Avatar for Billionaire7
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2012
Tue, 03-26-2013 - 12:56pm

Perhaps you may want to remind her gently of your inital goals, and then in a friendly manner encourage her to get back on to the program, stating to her the benefits, and remindering her of why she decided to join the gym and get a buddy in the first place.  It seems as though she just got her eye off the goal, and got sucked into the cares and the little pleasures of life.




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