Where to Start?

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Where to Start?
11
Wed, 08-01-2012 - 3:41pm

Hi,

I'm new to FLYlady, and seeing things like zones and reminders and challenges, etc., makes me feel like everyone is way ahead of me. Where do I start? Is anyone even still doing this?

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
In reply to:
Fri, 08-03-2012 - 10:57am

Have you visited the FlyLady website? Her first rule is that you "jump in where you are", nobody is ahead of you or doing better etc. You just do the best you can. And everybody's home is different in terms of clutter and size, and if you have kids you'll have different challenges than somebody whose kids are grown or with no kids, etc

The first step is to shine your sink. When that becomes a habit you move on to the second step, then the third. Some people decide to do a bunch of steps at once. The beauty of the "program" is that it allows for a lot of tailoring to meet your needs. You can choose to receive reminder emails, or just check the webpage to see what's listed for each day, depending on how committed you want to be.

One of the biggest issues is clutter. Like she says, you cannot organize clutter. So before doing any of the detailed work you need to de-clutter. The zones just help you choose where to work each week and the mission give you more specifics.

I have to admit that I have never jumped in fully with following all of the babysteps, making and following a control journal etc. I have done elements of all of it especially the 15 minute sessions---which can make a huge difference--and kind of waver on how well/often I do any of it.

This board has gotten very slow, the cl is in nursing school plus raising a family so she's crazy busy these days and I don't know where the other members have gone...probably if you post your questions or comments others will chime in.

Best of luck, and don't hesitate to ask questions or tell us how you're doing.

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
In reply to: elc11
Sat, 08-04-2012 - 8:23pm

<So, you can pick and choose what you want to do?>

Officially, probably not. I don't know...like many "programs" you probably have more success when you commit to the whole thing. But somehow I've never been able to fully commit but in theory the whole concept makes a lot of sense to me, so it seems a waste to not use at least some it.

Some of the "basic tenets" just don't work for me. I cannot do them in the amount of time, or they don't work with my current lifestyle for some reason. Due to that it would be easy to say "this method doesn't work for me" and not do any of it. But that would like throwing the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak. There are some parts that do work well for me, like the 15 minute sessions or the 5 minute hot-spot fire drills or even the 27 fling boogie. So I decided to adopt whatever does work for me, and periodically review if some of the other things could now start working. Maybe "flying done incorrectly still blesses me"?

It seems like the type of people who need the Flylady help are already people who have trouble with committing to a housework plan or decluttering etc or else we wouldn't be in this predicament in the first place, KWIM? So it then makes sense that they might also have trouble committing to the flylady program. She's trying to teach us some habits so doing these things becomes second nature, and give us tips for how to make work seem like a game, etc. While we're learning those lessons things will probably not go in a straight line.

Its funny but I do get how the shiny sink works...if you come out each morning to an empty sink and cleaned up kitchen that looks good it can give you more incentive to try to keep the kitchen cleaned up. And it can help you to feel in control of at least one small area of your home/life...whereas when you walk in your kitchen and immediately see a pile of dirty dishes it can be pretty depressing and disheartening, make you feel like you're already "behind" before you even get started. (And my interpretation of shining your sink isn't necessarily scouring it with ajax every day. It probably needs to be scoured the first time if you haven't done that in a while, but after that I think it means more to have the sink empty of dishes every night). Some of the other stuff, I understand how and why it works---like getting dressed to shoes right away or fixing my hair and makeup, but it just doesn't work for the way my current morning schedule runs. If it fit with my life now I probably would be doing it and might even be doing better with the whole flylady thing.

So sure, give it another try. I figure that doing something is better than doing nothing, right?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2012
Tue, 08-14-2012 - 3:36pm
geezlouise wrote:

<<I have to admit that I have never jumped in fully with following all of the babysteps, making and following a control journal etc. I have done elements of all of it especially the 15 minute sessions---which can make a huge difference--and kind of waver on how well/often I do any of it.>>

So, you can pick and choose what you want to do? If that's the case, I might give it another try. I tried it years ago, but I could never get past cleaning the kitchen sink. I know there was supposed to be a point to that, but I just didn't get it. Having a shiny clean sink didn't encourage me, it just made me feel like I was wasting my time when there were more important things to do.

LOL! Me too- I must have started "over" a gazillion times but boy, my sink was sure clean. :smileyhappy:

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2002
In reply to:
Thu, 08-23-2012 - 8:08am

Hi! Welcome to the board!

FlyLady does not like it when people jump in and try to do too much and then burn out right away. It can happen way to easily.

What you need to do is...Shine your sink (always to go bed with your sink shining), lay your clothes out the night before (so you are ready for anything and you can make sure everything is ready instead of trying to find it when you're trying to get to work)  and go to bed at a decent hour.

Don't forget to declutter for 15 minutes everyday. You can not organize clutter. You have to get rid of it and it is not going to do you a darned bit of good to try to organize until it is gone. (The voice of experience talking here). I'm also not talking about putting it in a box and throwing it in the basement (stash and dash). It has got to go. I am working on doing that myself. I have a big bunch of stuff in my garage for a garage sale and I don't see myself having that garage sale. I am about ready to just take it all to charity. You always put more work into them than you would make to even make it worth your while.

Good luck!

 

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
In reply to: elc11
Thu, 08-23-2012 - 8:30pm

ITA about the garage sales. I have held some and it is so much work before, during, and after. I read on FlyLady that she doesn't recommend them and decided to agree with her! Now I just donate stuff to charity and get a receipt for taxes, and it gets the stuff out of my house.

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
In reply to: elc11
Sat, 08-25-2012 - 4:18pm

Well, if its something that you use then IMO its not clutter, it may just need a better place to be stored. 

What kind of things are you talking about?

When its something that you need only once a year and you can borrow it from somebody, then often it makes sense to get rid of it--especially if space is an issue.

Lucky you if you have decluttered down to the point that you're looking at stuff that you need only occasionally. I'm still trying to get through stuff that I can easily live without...its the making myself sort through it that's the problem.

Avatar for CMEvelyn
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2012
Mon, 08-27-2012 - 12:40pm
I know exactly what you mean. I had a record collection that I'd kept since I was a kid, long past the time when I had a record player. I finally pared it down and only kept about five of my favorites. Every time I went in the basement and walked by them I thought I really should get rid of them. One day I decided I'm never going to use these again and I threw them out. It was hard to part with them, but I did it.

Fast forward a bit, and my daughter has a record player, is in love with the oldies, and I keep hearing, "I can't believe you threw those records out!"
Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
In reply to: elc11
Tue, 08-28-2012 - 2:20pm

<"I can't believe you threw those records out!">

LOL. I heard the same thing. I also heard it about my clothes and jewelry from the 60s and 70s, like I was going to carry around all that stuff for 20+ years in case I had a daughter who would be interested in that stuff when she became a teenager or 20-something!

There have been a few things that I've gotten rid of and later was sorry, but for the most part I don't miss most of it; and I do feel lighter without it! They say that if you go a year without using or wearing something that you don't really need it. Obviously things like holiday decorations don't count and also things like reference materials as long as they're not too out of date, and I also have some "family heirlooms" like my grandmother's crystal and china that I use about once every 10 years... I admit that I don't always practice what I preach, I really fall prey to the "I might need it someday/it might fit me someday" mentality. But when I DO make myself get rid of stuff its usually not a real problem in the future.

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Mon, 09-17-2012 - 6:41pm

:smileyhappy:

I LOVE the shiny sink to!

Nightangel