New Here and Need Advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2012
New Here and Need Advice
9
Sat, 01-07-2012 - 1:06pm

I have been viewing some of the posts here and decided to post a message. I am so stressed to the point that I could pull my hair out.

Let me try and make this short as possible. I lost my job after 22 years, was downsized etc and went from having it all to having nothing in a matter of 3 years. I am slowly trying to get back on track and have debt that has piled up and am considering bankruptcy.

My issue.

A friend of mine loaned me money as I was about to be evicted. I did not ask for it but she insisted as there was no one else to turn to. I explained to her that it would not be a good idea because, I did not have any income coming in and did not know when I would be able to pay her back. She was insistent on helping me and wired $700us dols to me WU( I ended up getting evicted and going homeless a month later) She told me not to worry about paying her back anytime soon because she put it on her credit card and I was so grateful to her for helping me when no one else would. Also, told her that I hoped to have her paid within a year. A week after she loaned me the money she called me and said she needed the money immediately as she filed bankruptcy.erased the debt and now she wants the cash. I told her I would pay her as soon as I could, but she has been harrassing me, calling me derogatory names, telling me I am a scam artist..a thief.liar hoping that I die..

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2008
Mon, 01-09-2012 - 5:08pm

Hello and welcome to the board. I'm sorry that you're going through some tough times and have this "friend" to deal with on top of it all. Can you block her number so that she can't keep calling to harass you? It sounds very bizarre to me that someone would insist you pay them back when they don't actually owe that debt any more. In my humble - and non professional - opinion, I would worry about actual creditors first. Be sure to ask in your consultation though. A professional will be able to give you great advice.

Good luck!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2012
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 7:44am
Thank you so much for the comment. I have a consultation with an attorney next week. She is insisting the money is hers, but in all actuality the money should be paid back to the court since she file bankruptcy on the devt. I just feel bad because she was nice enough to loan it to me. She offered. I did not ask.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2003
Fri, 01-13-2012 - 4:47pm

Hi perl4u12.

I'm sorry to read about your situation.

When you have a consultation with your bankruptcy attorney, be sure to include this situation because

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2012
Sat, 01-14-2012 - 7:30pm
Thanks for the advice as this has me so stressed. I will list her as a debt and told her so and she went ballistic. I told her that I could maybe arrange to have it paid back to her cc company but of course she does not want this.She wants to pocket the money. I plan to be upfront with the attorney during my consultation and list her as a debt too.
My goal right now is to get back on track slowly but surely and try to reduce my stress.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2003
Sat, 01-14-2012 - 8:41pm

I think you are doing the right thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2012
Sat, 02-11-2012 - 2:40am

Update,

I have spoken with an attorney and getting all of the necessary paperwork I need to file. It's unfortunate because I am only working part time now and barely making money to keep a roof over my head, but the attorney will work out some payment plans.

As far as that so called friend that loaned me the $700 by putting it on her credit card and then filed bankruptcy to erase the debt. She has still be harrassing me but

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2003
Mon, 02-13-2012 - 11:46am
I'm so sorry that you are enduring such terrible treatment by someone who was once a friend. Just goes to show that people aren’t always what we think they are. I believe the best thing to do is to send her an email advising her that her conduct is unacceptable and must stop immediately. End of contact.

From my perspective the most vexing problem is that the behavior you have described is escalating beyond an irritation to full blown stalking and harassment. This “campaign” involving perfect strangers now sending upsetting email may also be illegal. There are laws dealing with harassment and stalking that are especially serious with the feds. Remember the online harassment that resulted in a teenage girl committing suicide? Same laws against online harassment and what’s going on is clearly harassment.

Telling her this will only fan the flames, but it might give you some comfort knowing she is breaking state law and federal law by harassing you and stalking you via the internet. If you are interested you could investigate how you can lodge a complaint for this with the State Attorney General and the FCC. It also would not be a bad idea to make a counter report at your police department just for informational purposes only but for no other reason that she did not get what she wanted from you and is now ratcheting up the heat plus involving people you don't know in her harassment. This mak es you especially vulnerable and I would think is worthy of a simply info report. Making a counter report (counter as in going in to the police department and talking to someone at the counter) for informational purposes only does not mean the police are going to contact her or anyone, but it certainly would make the harassment a record with law enforcement in case something happens. At this point you can't do anything but ensure you are protected and safe.

Should you send her an email advising her to stop, be sure to ignore her taunts and that of her associates. Monitor any email to detect if it's getting worse or you start getting threats and be sure to add that to any police report for info purposes. Threats are serious and should not be ignored. But keeping a finger on her crazymaking “pulse” may help you contain the sideshow and allow you to focus on your bankruptcy paperwork.

Be absolutely certain to discuss this alleged “debt” with your attorney and perhaps include her as an unsecured creditor in your petition. Rather be safe than sorry. Talk it over with your attorney. I’d be inclined to list her because then she is forbidden to contact you over the matter. If she contact you or others contact you about the alleged debt to her, your attorney will handle the matter. Remember, once you file bankruptcy it is a violation of the Automatic Stay for any creditor to contact you over a debt. To do so is a violation of the United States Federal Bankruptcy Court and believe me, she does NOT want to face a Federal Court Judge. Especially over money she is claiming you owe her, which money I bet she did not list on HER bankruptcy papers. My my my!

Keep tabs but don't engage this person. The behavior you have described sounds like someone who has anger management problems. Stay safe.

Carolyn
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2012
Tue, 02-14-2012 - 9:39am

Thanks for the advice. It is stressful enough having to deal with the bankruptcy and then lack of funds..etc..Trying to find a job..So much has happened in so little time. I would have thought it would be easy to find a job after being downsized after 22 years employment. I could not even get hired at the local market because of "being overqualified" Fortunately, I have been able to find some work as a Virtual Assistant so things are looking up. Right now I am staying in an extended stay hotel since I was evicted from my apartment. It's amazing how our lives can change in an instance. I have realized I can be happier with

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2003
Tue, 02-14-2012 - 10:33am
Happy Valentines Day to you too.

And you are right: iVillage is a wonderful place to come and vent.

Carolyn