Homeless and Struggling

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2013
Homeless and Struggling
Sat, 08-09-2014 - 7:05pm

Hello everyone, please bear with me while this is not very easy for me to come foward with.  I am you, or at least like many of you, the few differences are not noticeable.  I have been a stay at home mom and never wanted to be anything else.  I have 4 wonderful children, 2 currently still living at "home", 13 and 15, oh, and I had a burst brain aneurysm 7 years ago that left me disabled, but "not disabled enough".  Funny how the system works these days.  I cannot drive a car because I have double vision and seizures. But if you seen me on the street or at a store, you would think I was just like you, however, I am very, very different...I am homeless.  

My husband and I lost our home in October of last year due to downsizing and wrong job choices.  (He was offered a job 900 miles in his hometown that sounded fabulous so we moved the entire family and let our "family friend"stay and live in our home only to find out the job was a scam and the gentleman was wanted by the FBI)  Side Note:  if it sounds too good to be true, and you REALLY REALLY WANT IT, it usually is. Upon returning here, after just a few (five) short months we were surprised to find out that our "friends" had failed to pay any of the bills to the house payments, or the electric, or the water, or, well anything.  Our fault, but we were trying to help a friend in a bad situation.  The reason I am adding that part, WE are now the people in that situation.  My husband, two children and I are living in a hotel, trying to find a way out of it to no avail. 

My husband makes decent money so we do not qualify for assistance, nor are we asking for it, but we cannot find a house or an apartment to rent and are paying $329 A WEEK to stay in a hotel.  Please don't tell me to find another hotel, there are none that are cheaper that I would allow my children (girls) to stay in by themselves which does happen occassionally.  The less that $50 a week difference is well worth the piece of mind.  I do not have any family and my husband does not have any in this area, or any that are willing to help period. 

I guess my question is, has anyone been through this and if so, how does one get out of it?  I am usually a very happy-go-lucky individual, but it's coming up on a year and I don't know what to tell my children anymore.  They don't want anyone at school to find out, and I can't blame them.  Any help or advise would be greatly appreciated.  

Thank you in advance

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2009
Sun, 08-10-2014 - 12:14pm

First off, hugs. I know it must be difficult to be in this situation. I have not been in the situation, but I am sure with perseverance you guys can work yourselves out of it. With what you said, you are paying $1425 per month on housing. Is it not possible to find a rental home in the kids’ school district? That would be a MUCH cheaper rental option than the Hotel and much more stable for your kids. Do you have furniture? If not, don't be afraid to go to second hand stores for things to get you by for a while until you are back on your feet. You may even find some free/cheap options on craigslist.

Also, I would keep fighting for disability. I have heard it takes on average 3 denials before you are actually granted full disability.

JenAaron.jpg picture by jen2075

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 08-11-2014 - 6:24pm

Oh gosh, so sorry to hear this brings you hear.

I am curious what the hurdle is to finding a rental if you DH is gainfully employed at a salary that is above receiving financial assistance.  I realized that "being above" that level is not necessarily a comfortable living, but if you can afford $1,365 a month in rent, I am curious where the issue is.  

So, if I were to guess then, it must be your credit score.  And lets be honest, you may be paying $1,365 a month, but that includes your utilites, so I can see how it is a cycle that is hard to get out of.  

I guess just keep trying to network where you live.  You know they saying "it is not what you know, but who you know."   

Just kind of brainstorming here, but First, I also wonder if you should keep trying for disability.  Second, I am wondering if you may have to rent (assuming there must be SOMEONE that would rent to you) a not so desireable place so you can save some money, and develop a good rental history.  Just gessing her, not being sure where the "finding a rental" struggle is.  

Good luck and hang in there.  I have a freind who ended up in a homeless shelter with her DH and DD while in betweeen apartments.  I am sure you already know you are blessed to have a gainfully employed DH and a roof over your head.  :)

Keep us posted!



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Tue, 08-12-2014 - 9:18pm

Its that time, time to put your game face on. Play for the whole team, put all your eggs in one basket, make this your one and only priority and get into a house or aparment. You know this. Its for everyone, Get it done. Get the whole family involved, put all the pennies in one pot and move forward. The family will support you. Save everything you can, repair your credit if this is the problem, work with a credit agency explore your options. Get  out of the hotel. its time.