Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Thu, 09-20-2012 - 12:20pm

Last night I went home and gave alot of thought to all the great advice and posts I read yesterday.  I cannot thank you enough.  I really thought I had a handle on budgeting because heck, I made one, but I really did not.  Maybe before I wasn't thinking with an open mind or something because it never really clicked until last night.  I don't keep cc statements or bank statements except for the copy of the cancelled child support check should we ever need it, so I can't really go back and look at statements for help.  I made up a list of categories for what I could think of and while I know we are all different, I was wondering if something was blaringly missing from this list.  I don't own a home and my car is paid off (well I paid it off with a low interest check from my cc but I don't make monthly payments on it).  I'll give some more thought to it over the weekend as well.

child support



dish network


life insurance

car insurance

gas and electric

cc 1

cc 2

cc 3

cc 4

cc 5

student loan

school uniforms


school pictures (fall and spring)



doctor co-pays

school birthday parties

pto events

pretzel money


book sales at school

SD christmas

SD birthday

SS chirlstmas

SS birthday

Daughter christmas

Daughter birthday

hubby Christmas

mom birthday

mom Christmas

dad birthday

dad Christmas

dad father's day

stepmom mother's day

stepmom christmas

stepmom birthday

stepdad father's day

stepdad christmas

stepdad father's day

nephew 1 birthday

nephew 1 christmas

nephew 2 birthday

nephew 2 christmas

cousin 1 birthday

cousin 2 birthday

cousin 3 birthday

school supplies


priniter ink

clothing me

clothing hubby

clothing daughter

shoes me

shoes hubby

shoes daugher



cousin wedding

light rail pass

aunt christmas

aunt christmas

aunt christmas

uncle christmas

mother-in-law birthday

mother-in-law mother's day

mother-in-law christmas

father-in-law birthday

father-in-law christmas

father-in-law father's day

car maintenance

brother christmas

sister-in-law christmas

church donations

daughter's allowance

I know that it looks like I spend a fortune at the holidays but I have gotten alot better over the years.  I really used to spend alot but now I have about a  25 limit per person except my parents.  They are both extremely good to me and while I know they don't expect gifts, I enjoy giving them to them.  The amounts I spend are just under 100 each.

As for the ccs, 3 of those have balances under 1000 each.  One has a balance of about 8,000 and the last has a balance of 22,000.  The student loan is at about 9500.  I have to check the exact numbers.

After I go through and try to make sure I didn't forget anything, I will go through and figure out when the amounts for each is due (dentist is november 10 but car insurance isn't until March for instance). 

Some of these amounts are small - like pto events only require about 50 bucks for the year.  My daughter's allowance is only 5 bucks a week.  Some may think she should do chores just because she lives in the house but I don't want her to make the same mistakes I made.  So we take 3 of the 5 dollars and put it in the bank, as well as all of her birthday and/or christmas money.  She has enough know that she could fully fund my EF with some leftover.  lol  But seriously, I want to teach her about saving and not getting into the mess I have been in.  If she listens and absorbs half of what I tell her, she will be lightyears ahead of me when she becomes a young adult.

I'm sure I have more to post but that's enough of my babble for now.



Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
In reply to: mahopac
Thu, 09-20-2012 - 9:25pm

I completely agree with you.  My kids know that I don't care if they don't spend anything for my birthday or Mother's Day - I just want a card from them.  If they want to do more than that, great (DD gave me a skin for my iPhone that cost all of $5 for my birthday because she remembered I wanted one and would never get around to getting it for myself).  But as long as they remember and show appreciation for my existence, THAT'S something I can't buy for myself.

DS always calls from college on our birthdays.  He HATES talking on the phone, so I know that it is a real effort for him to call us. I love it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
In reply to: happysj56
Sat, 09-22-2012 - 6:32am
Your gift idea is wonderful. Another great present I received, on my 40th birthday, was a pretty box with 40 little pieces of paper inside, each with a quality in me the giver admired....very meaningful because it is so easy to think about our own negative qualities and it's great to know that others see the positive. I often buy picture frames at a great church yard sale I go to every year...some are new, and I pay 5 or 10 cents for them. I keep a supply not just for my own pictures, but in case there is a great picture I want to pass on. I am not crafty either. I do not even think I am cheap...I just think that in this day and age, so many people have so much stuff that in some cases, buying expensive presents because we genuinely want to show our love is not the only or sometimes even the best way to do things. My sister in law hates to shop, and the best gift I ever gave her was when I suggested we stop exchanging wasn't the money, it was removing the stress of having to either think of something to tell me she wanted and/or think of something to buy me. Instead, sometime over the holidays, we make time to take a walk together - just us - and we catch up about the year past and Our hopes for the year ahead. It is a better use of the time we would spend buying and wrapping gifts that the other person does not need. On the other hand, if I see something that makes me think of her or that she has mentioned that she needs, I will still buy it and give her a no occasion present...and she is the same way towards me. It is great that you know giving your parents a nice gift is more important to you than ppv wrestling...setting priorities is an important point in budgeting. In life, we can probably have just about anything we want, but we cannot have everything we want all the time and at the exact moment we first want it....