Does the cycle ever end?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2013
Does the cycle ever end?
Wed, 08-14-2013 - 5:34pm

Hey there everyone?

It's been a very long time since I've been here.  I was even a CL on this board years ago, but I'm not even sure what my member name was back then.

Ugh, I'm back and I guess that's not a good thing.  I feel like I'm taking two steps forward and two steps back.  Not sinking, but certainly not going up very fast.

I filed bankruptcy several years ago and I thought that was it.  I'd learned my lesson the hard way, but it seems I didn't really.

My debt isn't exactly what it was back then, so I guess I learned something, but the fact remains that I'm struggling to pay it off and make ends meet at the same time.  A while back, I got a promotion that had me swimming in money for a few months.  I was paying stuff down, and having a little fun.  But that didn't last because the business fell on hard times.  I didn't lose my job, but I voluntarily cut back my hours to the bare minimum and tried making up the difference with a home based business I created.  It wasn't as lucrative, but ends were met and I was enjoying working mostly from home.

The most random thing occurred when another company down the street asked me to do some work for them.  I was all WOOHOO! thinking I'm finally back and will get this debt paid off!

Then a long term at-home contract I had came to a somewhat abrupt end after 6 years, knocking the wind completely out of my sails.  I can give my thanks to God for giving me this other new job to fall back on.  He always seems to come through, but I'm so frustrated that I'm just squeaking by month after month, and it's hard to make a dent in my debt. 

The worst of it is a student loan I almost regret.  The balance just goes up and up and the payment's about to increase in two months.  Credit card debt, while still below 10k, is disgusting to look at.  I keep wondering WHY! I let that happen again.

I'm scared to death that the two PT jobs I have are unstable.  One is almost out of business, but he's trying all sorts of things to keep working and because of our longish working relationship, I'm along for the ride as a freelancer.  It could go poof any day... or not.  The other guy seems to be growing after suffering quite a fall when the economy tanked, but it's still not in tip top shape, so I never know what to expect.  I do the books (ironic isn't it?), so I see how tight it is.

Finally, my home business is just there.  Growing a little, but I'm having trouble finding the time to really make it happen because I'm holding onto the more solid money while it's still there.  Plus I feel I'm lacking the skill needed to take it to the next level, so I need to find time to study.

I worked until 12:30 last night and was back up at 6:30 this morning.  I'm exhausted.  When I get a day "off" I should try catching up, but I end up veging because I just need the break from a 70 hour work week.

How do I work so much and barely pay the bills?  If my husband wasn't carrying the household bills, I'd be screwed. 

Anyway, that's where I am today.  I'm just here to see if I can get into some sort of zone to dig out and perhaps share our journeys together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2010
Mon, 08-19-2013 - 5:48pm
We can be a victim or a solution, really we all have it in us! How can you help your current employer increase their business so they can hire you full time? If they are a small business, what do they need to help them grow? I think one thing we do not consider with kids is meeting other moms who also work and creating a team of folks who help with kids. There could be a high schooler who can babysit after school, or a mom who wants to stay at home and make some income. Bottom line is to really brainstorm your options and think out of the box. You can do it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2013
Thu, 08-15-2013 - 5:34pm

I have been looking for full time, but my schedule with my kids is restrictive.  My one boss talks about hiring me full time when they get fully turned around, but I think it will be a while.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Thu, 08-15-2013 - 2:52pm

Welcome back!  Marie and Karen have pretty much already said anything I could have thought to add to what you already know. 

I stuggle myself, having a great, 24 plus hour a week job.  But alas, it isn't quite enough.   Chances are high that any other-full time I might find would mean taking a significant wage and benefit cut. 

But have I truly looked?  No, because it is scary.  Cry

I am burned out being secretary and going to school part-time in hopes of increasing my opportunities. 

Sorry, instead of posting my whining in a new post,  I tend to vent in my replies.  Surprised

Sorry you are struggling, but thrilled to have a new,experienced poster.

Serenity CL making a second marriage work



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2010
Thu, 08-15-2013 - 8:32am
Funny, Karen (Galstorelady) and I have been on the board too long! We both were posting at the same time and had the same opinion with regard to one full time job. She is a really smart woman, so really think about that option, don't let the negatives cloud your brainstorming, honestly this could really help you focus and land on your feet.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2010
Thu, 08-15-2013 - 8:29am

My you have been through a lot and just cannot seem to makethings stick!  Your perseverence definately shows through, and kudos to you for that.

I know you are piecing together several small things, but Hon, the economy is really improving and companies are finding it hard to find good people now.  I would totally revamp that resume and network hard until you find a full time gig that pays you what you need.

You might start by brainstorming larger and mid size firms in your area you would consider working in.  Then aks if anyone knows anyone at those firms as a connection.  Be sure all your social media outlets are cleaned up, private and Google your name, as employers will do the same when running background checks today.

As far as interviews, appearance matters, be sure your hair is clean and cut nicely (cheap places can give good cuts too) and I like a new style tip I learned, wear a black pant or skirt with a black shell and get a nice chic blazer or jacket to add a punch.  Women do not need the basic blue or black interview suit, but you don't want to look too out of place, so the new trick is one color for pant/skirt and shirt, to have a solid block, beige works too, then a chic jacket with some jewelry - no more than 5 pieces (2 ears, ring, bracelet, necklace.)  I find my jackets at Chico's on the sale racks in back.

I really think one full time good job could really solve a lot of your issues, get you some benefits, including retirement funds and start your ball rolling! 

Good luck and please post more often!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Thu, 08-15-2013 - 8:16am


Unfortunately, its always something. I am a long time member and got out of debt and am back in. It is secured, but vehicle debt( a bob cat, not even a vehicle) and 0% but still that nasty old word "consumer debt". Life just happens and no matter what we do we can never be proactive enough to save for a big purchase like that. We live on a rural property and use it every weekend and during the winter to snow blow so we can get our vehicles out to go to work. Our older one finally died. I wanted one more year out of it but alas it did not happen. We are also trying to save for a down payment on a new house. So once again, conflicting priorities and never enough money always gets in the way. 

I'd say you have learned a lot from your post. You know you need to earn more money. Have you considered getting one full time job and keeping one part time job? You need to take time off to unwind. a 70 hour week is a lot. Have you tried to get the interest rate reduced on the credit card debt? It sounds like you have stopped digging and that is the first step. Select your target debt and start snowballing! Do you have your $1000 efund set up yet? It is so helpful.  

The accountability thread is still at the bottom so scroll down and be accountable every week. It will help your mind set so when you do have the extra cash you can throw it at the debt.