Does the cycle ever end?
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|Wed, 08-14-2013 - 5:34pm|
Hey there everyone?
It's been a very long time since I've been here. I was even a CL on this board years ago, but I'm not even sure what my member name was back then.
Ugh, I'm back and I guess that's not a good thing. I feel like I'm taking two steps forward and two steps back. Not sinking, but certainly not going up very fast.
I filed bankruptcy several years ago and I thought that was it. I'd learned my lesson the hard way, but it seems I didn't really.
My debt isn't exactly what it was back then, so I guess I learned something, but the fact remains that I'm struggling to pay it off and make ends meet at the same time. A while back, I got a promotion that had me swimming in money for a few months. I was paying stuff down, and having a little fun. But that didn't last because the business fell on hard times. I didn't lose my job, but I voluntarily cut back my hours to the bare minimum and tried making up the difference with a home based business I created. It wasn't as lucrative, but ends were met and I was enjoying working mostly from home.
The most random thing occurred when another company down the street asked me to do some work for them. I was all WOOHOO! thinking I'm finally back and will get this debt paid off!
Then a long term at-home contract I had came to a somewhat abrupt end after 6 years, knocking the wind completely out of my sails. I can give my thanks to God for giving me this other new job to fall back on. He always seems to come through, but I'm so frustrated that I'm just squeaking by month after month, and it's hard to make a dent in my debt.
The worst of it is a student loan I almost regret. The balance just goes up and up and the payment's about to increase in two months. Credit card debt, while still below 10k, is disgusting to look at. I keep wondering WHY! I let that happen again.
I'm scared to death that the two PT jobs I have are unstable. One is almost out of business, but he's trying all sorts of things to keep working and because of our longish working relationship, I'm along for the ride as a freelancer. It could go poof any day... or not. The other guy seems to be growing after suffering quite a fall when the economy tanked, but it's still not in tip top shape, so I never know what to expect. I do the books (ironic isn't it?), so I see how tight it is.
Finally, my home business is just there. Growing a little, but I'm having trouble finding the time to really make it happen because I'm holding onto the more solid money while it's still there. Plus I feel I'm lacking the skill needed to take it to the next level, so I need to find time to study.
I worked until 12:30 last night and was back up at 6:30 this morning. I'm exhausted. When I get a day "off" I should try catching up, but I end up veging because I just need the break from a 70 hour work week.
How do I work so much and barely pay the bills? If my husband wasn't carrying the household bills, I'd be screwed.
Anyway, that's where I am today. I'm just here to see if I can get into some sort of zone to dig out and perhaps share our journeys together.