Feeling Pretty Screwed!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2014
Feeling Pretty Screwed!
Wed, 03-05-2014 - 12:13am

Just need to vent a little about my situation as it's pretty miserable and I can't figure a way out.

We've been carrying a ton of credit card debt since the financial crisis of 2007/2008. By a ton, I mean at it's height it was about 100K in credit cards alone. Right now it's probably around 50K. Our mortgage payment is going up by anohter $500/month and i'm trying as hard as possible to refi or do a loan modification before it adjusts in April. We're facing about a 30K tax bill for the year becuase we sold an old rental property and now have to pay capital gains tax. we only netted about 12K on the sale, but still thought it was a good idea. Figured we'd be able to save the difference by tax time, instead, of course, we spent it. We actaully live pretty frugally but our monthly expenses are jsut higher than our income so we're negative every month. Truth is it's that we haven't been able to make the hard choices. We live in a really expensive area, and we don't wnat to change our kids lifestyle...which is really not extravagant at all. We don't take vacations, rarely eat out, don't spend money on fancy stuff at all. We're jsut paying so much for our debt each month taht it makes us go into the red month after month.

I try so hard not to stress my wife out by all of this and I know she appreciates it and trusts me. I jsut feel like a complete moron and that every financial decision i make is wrong. I know i'm not that stupid but these decisions are really hard and digging out from this hole has been so demoralizing.

I tyry to think of ways to make more money ... every day. I just can't figure it out. I feel like i'm just thinking about it all wrong. I'm embarrassed to tell anyone about our situation and taht makes it even harder. I just can't figure out how to get out of this mess and it's completely debilitating.

What to do...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Wed, 03-05-2014 - 7:58am


It sounds like you need to go to your bank and consolidate your debt to a lower interest loan. What is your credit like? It can't hurt to go talk to a loan officer and see if you can come up with a solution. The interest should be much lower with a decent payment plan and an end in site.

Let us know how things turn out and you are welcome any time, you are also not alone! There are lots of people here with money problems. Visit often, read some of the posts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Thu, 03-06-2014 - 6:26am

You certainly are NOT alone. As Karen mentioned there are plenty of people on this board who are in, or were in, a pile of debt for many reasons (job loss, health bills, student loans, excess spending etc). The important part is that you have recognized the problem and are not digging deeper.

Have you really sat down and tracked your spending? It's amazing how little things can really add up and cause a leak in the budget. Ultimately if you have already paid down $50K that's pretty amazing and you are halfway there.

Feel free to post your budget numbers. The folks here are great at looking at a budget and finding areas to cut and coming up with ideas for free things to do with the family. And it can be done. I started with close to $50K of student/car/CC debt when I started and I'm happy to say that as of December last year I am debt free!

Good luck and post often

Bex -

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Thu, 03-06-2014 - 1:02pm

Welcome!  You are in the right place.  

So much depends on what is important to us.  Credit score, where we live, guilty pleasures, car repairs or car payment, kids activities, is working worth the daycare bill, the list goes on and on, and it is not the same for everyone.

I hope you stick around and if you want, offer a few details.  Sometimes it is easier to give suggestions with a few more details.  


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2009
Fri, 03-07-2014 - 9:29am

welcome! Glad you're here, this place is supportive and nonjudgemental. 

Most importantly, don't beat yourself up over your debt or your past decisions. You can and will get through this. It won't be the easiest time in your life and there will be those tough decisions to make, but you'll look back someday and say, "wow, I learned a lot from that". 

I agree with the mortgage being a big factor, I know you said you are working on that. 

Is getting a second income possible for either you or your wife? Do you have stuff you can sell on ebay, craig's list, a yard sale? Do you have gold jewelry to sell? Do you have extras in the house you can do without, like water delivery? Cleaning people? Extra cable TV packages you don't really need? Netflix? Hulu? Lawncare service? I won't go on & on, but you get what I am saying, right? 

Please come back often & post, we're here for you!