Feeling Run Over

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2012
Feeling Run Over
7
Fri, 10-19-2012 - 3:43pm

I'm sorry to be such a downer, but I am really feeling overwhelmed at the moment. 

In a nutshell, we have some CC debt that I thought was manageable but still may take us 2 years to pay off AND I finally got my head out of the sand and reviewed what we will owe on DD's student loans beginning this summer. Each of the kids got great packages at the school of their choice and they have always paid 1/3 of what is due plus they have work study so please don't tell me that I shouldn't have school loans for them. I do and I went into it with eyes wide open.

I also figured out that, if we did not have credit card debt, I make just enough to cover our yearly expenses, even with putting 15% into our retirement. So, that is great; but, where in the heck does it go? My husband's salary was greatly reduced a couple years ago but I thought we had adjusted quite well. Bah. I am so discouraged. I just feel stupid.

It's time to really take a look at where the money is going and see where we can cut back; but, I do get so tired...

Thank you all for giving me the space to just whine!

Didi

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2001
Fri, 10-19-2012 - 4:05pm

Oh Didi,

I could have written your post myself - as a matter of fact I think I DID almost exactly one year ago!

We also have to deal with our Dd's student loans . . . my H also took a paycut some years back when the economy tanked (and I lost my job also, but I kinda of didn't mind that so much since the company was really going down hill and it wasn't fun being there at all) . . . we also had cc debt that I thought we should be able to handle . . .

Please don't feel overwhelmed or dumb . . . 'cause then I would have to feel that way too - lol!

It was quite liberating to finally get a clear look at where we stood with our money. We started  doing a zero balance budget each month (every penny was allocated toward something), and Dh and I met weekly to look at our progress and our mis-steps.  Things go better quickly for us.  We actually paid off more than $30,000 in a single year, and when we started I didn't think that sort of progress was possible at all.

It's a lot of work . . . but it feels sososooso good to do it (kind of like exercising, ya know).

Post often.  It helped me to post often.

Good luck!  You really can do this!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2001
Fri, 10-19-2012 - 4:05pm

Oh Didi,

I could have written your post myself - as a matter of fact I think I DID almost exactly one year ago!

We also have to deal with our Dd's student loans . . . my H also took a paycut some years back when the economy tanked (and I lost my job also, but I kinda of didn't mind that so much since the company was really going down hill and it wasn't fun being there at all) . . . we also had cc debt that I thought we should be able to handle . . .

Please don't feel overwhelmed or dumb . . . 'cause then I would have to feel that way too - lol!

It was quite liberating to finally get a clear look at where we stood with our money. We started  doing a zero balance budget each month (every penny was allocated toward something), and Dh and I met weekly to look at our progress and our mis-steps.  Things go better quickly for us.  We actually paid off more than $30,000 in a single year, and when we started I didn't think that sort of progress was possible at all.

It's a lot of work . . . but it feels sososooso good to do it (kind of like exercising, ya know).

Post often.  It helped me to post often.

Good luck!  You really can do this!

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Fri, 10-19-2012 - 4:56pm

I think we all need a moment here and there to vent, whether anger, frustration or discouragement. 

I have a friend of a friend who always tried to do the right thing in her life.  Had a good job, waited until she was almost 40 to get married and have kids.  Well, complications during pregnancy, then unexpectedly got pregnant again rather soon, with twins!

It was time to make some decisions, and she quit her job.  Here she was over 40 now with 3 little ones trying to live off of half their income.  Finally, she had to humble herself and found out there were eligible for some public assistance. 

She felt so "stupid" that she spent her entire adult life trying to do the right thing, didn't have any babies out of wedlock, stayed with a good job for several years, etc. etc. and here is she was in her early 40's needing public assistance to feed her babies, even with her DH's income. 

Even intelligent people find themselves in places they never imagined.  She never planned on being a stay at home mom, so her and her DH had not planned accordingly. 

It can happen to anyone.  Hang in there....

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2012
Fri, 10-19-2012 - 7:14pm

Thanks, Guys. 

Feeling a little better and ready to face a new day tomorrow. I'll take a fresh look at the budget and figure out what I can do next to feel successful and keep motivated. 

This group is awesome!

Didi

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2012
Sat, 10-20-2012 - 7:50pm

HI Didi,

I think it's admirable that you have student loans for your kids. I will do the same and never feel bad for it. I am right there with you on there is always ways to cut back, but it can be exhausting to live like that.  However, it is worth it!  Keep on going and just do the best you can. 

Shell

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Tue, 10-23-2012 - 10:41am

Oh Didi, we have all been on the dumb  train...trust me.The good news is you can get off with some work. Then you have the empowerment of doing so. You can do this. Dust off and make a plan! Ask questions if you need help and we will do our best!

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Tue, 10-23-2012 - 1:56pm

What is this place for, if not to share our frustrations as well as successes?

You'll get no flak from me for helping to pay for college.  Sounds like you're doing it just right.  I put my kids' college education as a high priority, and they get NO aid, and I am paying for the entire thing.  Many people would call me stupid for committing to pay this, when I could have been funding my retirement, but their education is my priority.  Different strokes for different folks, right?

Hang in there.